They told me/don't you ever come around here/Don't wanna hear the news/you better disappear.

The fire's in their eyes/and their words aren't really clear ... but I'm gonna tell you anyway, so there:

• The Guardian gets it right: it's time for the FBI to stop spying on Muslim Americans [1]. Too bad it's the Brits and not our own journalists saying this. Beat it. Just beat it.

• Two Oregon high-schoolers, one a 16-year-old Indian American, have developed speech recognition software that detects emotions [2]. They were inspired by the movie I, Robot. Because they're bad, they're bad, you know it.

• Southwest Airlines has become the official airline of the Japanese American Citizens League [3]. Shamon!

• IndiAm Astronomer leads a team that just discovered a diamond-studded planet [4]. The planets are lining up. We're bringing brighter days.

• Historians in Texas are trying to preserve the remains of WWII Japanese American internment camps [5]. Mamasay mamasah ma mah goo sah.

• The New York Times has declared S [6]iddhartha Mukherjee's first book The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer one of its 10 best books of the year [6]. Ow!

• The Pentagon's chief military recruiter likes the Dream Act [7], because it gets fresh immigrant blood to swell the military's ranks. Where did you come from, Baby? And ooo won't you take me there, right away, won't you, baby?

• The US military is renaming the Persian Gulf "The Arabian Gulf," [8] with, of course, no intention of offending anyone. They just want to love you, PYT.

• A Fil Am priest was arrested in an adult video store [9] in Texas for diddling himself in pubic -- uh, public. When questioned, he said he was starting with the man in the mirror.

• Lennon-murderer Mark David Chapman's JA wife stands by her man [10], even while spending her life making reparation for his wrongs. She and he must make a pact, they must bring salvation back.
  

• Fil Am hospital staff in Los Angeles are suing [11], claiming that the English-only policies at the hospital are being unfairly enforced on them. Hospital spokespeople said it doesn't matter if you're black or white.

• Two L.A. Koreatown banks are merging [12], to form the largest Korean American bank, and to terrorize y'alls neighborhood.

• A failed OC Viet Am bank is suing over a scam [13]. People shoulda told 'em: be careful what you do, don't go around breaking Viet Ams' hearts.

• RIP No-no boy and Fair Play Committee member Frank Emi [14]. Why, why? Tell 'em that it's human nature.

And now, watch the inimitable Dr. K [15] jammin' on this week's theme song: