Little did I know that I am actually Korean and Japanese. Yes: according to Face Analyzer, which “analyzes” a photo of you to ever-so-scientifically determine your real race, I am a mind-boggling 90 percent Korean/Japanese, news I am sure will stun my Chinese Filipino parents.

In addition to the weirdo race calculations, the Analyzer has deemed me Average Intelligence (oh well), Average Ambition, Average Politeness, and Very Low Gay Factor, among other things. The white collar versus blue collar stereotypes are super lame (and what does Gay Factor really mean?), but I’m determined to upload more pictures until I can finesse that hidden and magical combination of races that will explain my true origins.

Perhaps more enjoyable is the wonderful Face Transformer, a java tool which allows you to transform your face into you as a child, as an elderly person, as a manga cartoon, as a chimp (SCARY), as a member of a different race or gender. My “masculine” doppelganger might hypothetically resemble the long-lost cross-dressing sibling I never had, while my African American self was kinda cute.

Click here to see me as a white girl with swirly skin. Eek!