Invariably, in the hours and days following, I'm disappointed by the outcome. I become gripped by all the permutations of solutions that run through my brain. The woulda, coulda, shoulda. After the first couple times, flipping the bird or a nicely resounding "F--- YOU!" just isn't as satisfying.
It really is the search for perfection. The comment (or gesture) to end all comments. I'm sure many of you can relate.
I have two sets of comebacks under development: one for the sexist comments, and one for the racist ones. Of course, being a woman, the two offenses often blur together in all their "me sucky sucky" glory. Unfortunately, my comeback for sexism has lately returned to flipping the bird while continuing to walk. (What else can you do when people are making smoochy noises? It's just gross.) I could use some advice on this one, though, because sometimes it just makes the offender laugh.
On the racism side (and the reason I'm so fired up this morning), I've been playing with calmly turning to the person and saying, "No need for racism," or the like. Sadly, even though last night's offender was a minority, it didn't work. Instead, he said that calling me "Sumiyagi" was a compliment, whatever that means. My only hope is that he tossed and turned in bed last night, obsessed by the realization that, "Shit, I really am a racist," and had a conversation about it with his momma over his eggs and bacon this morning.