On Asian American Dating

August 3, 2007

Just a thought before the weekend: if I tell you that I — an Asian American woman who lives in San Francisco — have a boyfriend, what ethnicity would you assume he was?

A friend says that if he met an Asian American woman in the Bay Area, and she mentioned she had a boyfriend, he would assume her boyfriend was white. Do you agree? What does this say about dating in our community? Does it make a difference if the woman lives in another place, say Chicago or New York? What assumptions do you make about girlfriends of Asian American men? And what about gay Asian Americans?

Contributor: 

Lisa Wong Macabasco

Former Editor in chief

Lisa Wong Macabasco joined Hyphen in 2006; she has worked as the magazine's features editor, managing editor, and editor in chief. She has written for Mother Jones, the San Francisco Bay Guardian, AsianWeek, Audrey, Filipinas and ColorLines’ RaceWire. She graduated from U.C. Berkeley and Columbia University’s Graduate School of Journalism and co-founded the National Asian American Student Conference. She was formerly an editor at AsianWeek newspaper and an editor in the marketing department of the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art.

Comments

Comments

CM?
WM then? Or how about European-American male?
After reading stories such as these, I really wonder whether Asian women are really accepted by white families or is it all just a facade...and this friends, happened in NY over the last few years...http://www.trinidadexpress.com/index.pl/article_woman_mag?id=161196806
Interesting story CCBT, but why does it make you wonder about the acceptance of Asian girls by whites? This girl is not part Asian, she is part Trinidadian and I would guess that her Trinidadian part is of African ancestry. I am very aware of the large South Asian population in Trinidad/Tobago but the overwhleming majority are of African ancestry. The acceptance by whites is conditional on what they are being asked to accept. Notice that the majority of adoptees are EAST Asian, not SOUTH Asian. There are many reasons for this I am sure, but I suspect that 'comfort' is one of them. How welcoming would the South Asian community be if she were 'masala' (the correct term?)? I suspect not very warmly if your previous post from LI is to be believed.But the "acceptance" thing is a very important component of the overall dating issue. I contend that a more ready acceptance of asian women (starting as adoptees) by white families has 'normalized' asian women in the mind of many whites. This has not happened for most other minorities. This 'normalizing' that Asian women have experienced has simlutaneously warped their sense of 'value' such that they place greater value on that which has accepted them (white people) than that which has 'not'. ["not"? Consider this: on a primal level 'men' are supposed to 'protect' their 'women'. To the extent that asian women have been adoopted by white families with white men, at a subconcious level they might 'conclude' that Asian men did not 'protect' them -their daughters - by allowing them to be 'taken' by these 'others' who are now protecting them; their new 'fathers' - white men. But hey, I'm no psychologist!]Such is the birth of the 'preference' and this is then transmitted to a broader spectrum (non-adoptees) of Asian women thru 'social transmission'. How do you interrupt this stream? How do we disrupt the 'banana-fication' of asian americans?
How does CM = white male?
I know more than 50% of Asian American women marry white men. I would like to know what proportion of white men even date Asian women. 3% may be? How many white families have adopted Asian girls? one percent may be? That still leaves us with the overwhelming proportion of whites who tend to be homogeneous..and would really like to know whether an Asian female would be accepted. I believe many of these blonde girls did not have any Asian friends either.
Statistically speaking (my emphasis is on "in general, not specific cases"), men prefer better looking women and women fall for taller and more confident men, in a multicultual communicty ie SF & NY, race plays little part in picking one's partner. From this point of view, we can conclude that WM will have a better chance at getting better looking girls of any race because they are relatively taller and more agressive than AM. Now with the yellow fever going around, ofcourse the WM will have a better chance of getting AF than AM in the SF & NY area. But unfortunately for the AM, the international standard of handsomeness is not short height and smaller eyes, so it's not that surprising that the opposite "AM+WW" is not true. You may argue that girls pay more attention to personality than looks, but height and looks does contribute to ones confidence and that's what a lot of asian men are missing.
Hey guys, I think you're exaggerating the number of Asian American women marrying white men. While the number of Asian Americans marrying whites has increased over the years, it's not 50 percent. Personally, most of my Asian American friends and relatives are dating or marrying other Asian Americans, (mostly these are inter Asian couples, and not the same ethnicity). I am probably not the best example of an "average" Asian American though, since I am a Hyphen reader.Did anyone look at the link that Rob put up? It shows an analysis of census data, by ethnic groups and by gender, of who they marry. The census data is from 2000 though, so I'm not sure what the numbers look like in 2007.http://www.asian-nation.org/interracial.shtmlThis analysis, along with another one the writer cites, concluded that "all Asian ethnic groups and husbands and wives are also more likely to marry another Asian (either within their own ethnic group or some other Asian ethnic group) than before and that despite the increasing popularity of Asian intermarriage with Whites, the data show that these days Asian Americans are much more likely to marry another Asian than to marry a White person."
Hey I'd just like to add my two cents. I'm mixed black+white (Jamaican, Irish).My dating experience is a little different but maybe somewhat linked to this whole 'Asian American'/interracial dating thing.I live in a mostly-white middle class suburban area, I grew up hearing about the 'white ideal' male that all the young girls ogled over.You know, straight blonde hair, sometimes spiky, blue eyes, etc. I suppose I could fit into that 'tall dark and handsome' stereotype but I find it hasn't worked that well for me even though I am a decent looking guy.I was always irritated by that 'blonde hair blue eyed' ideal I've always heard white girls drooled over when I was young. Because of this I can identify quite strongly with the Asian males on here who also feel like they don't fit into the 'ideal' white 'hot & to die for' male.I KNOW the feeling quite well despite being half white and pretty much identifying with white culture, heck I pretty much AM white just with darker curly/wavy hair and a slight tan!I never get a consistent guess from people of what my ethnicity is, but there is usually a pattern. White people will think I'm anything but white (black, indian, asian, mexican, etc).Indians/Asians think I'm white, blacks think I'm white, some indo-carribeans will think I'm Chinese.Never have a problem flirting with white women in person, though I can say I haven't gotten as much attention as I'd like from them.Coming from a mixed background I have always had a completely different point of view when it comes to dating. I genuinely don't give a crap. Why would I exclude anyone? If I include both my ethnicities (white + black), why would I excude Asian or anyone else? I wouldn't and I don't exclude them.I never saw myself as a target of racism either.The turning point for me came when I started dating online. I have dated mostly non-white women. Mostly Asian actually. Why? Is it because I chose them? Not really! I find them attractive no doubt about that but that wasn't the main factor.I just found Asian women more receptive to me. They were more willing to talk to me. Being a non-white male, I get dick-all responses from white women. That shocked me because I am half-white myself, but I may as well be Asian or Black or whatever, I may as well be a FOB when it comes to ONLINE dating where ethnicity is explicitly mentioned and a picture is all they have to go by. White women choose to reject me based on that.So I can't help but see the pattern and I am somewhat bitter towards white women. This is why I almost exclusively date non-white women including Asian women who I find to be beautiful (I was always attracted to petite women, always attracted to darker hair).So there you have it. I have the same feelings towards white women that you have towards your fellow Asian women, and that is why I choose to date 'your' women. Just don't lump us mixed guys in with the white guys when you vent your frustration OK? I share your frustration ;)
why is asian women and white men such a big topic it is a fact that no matter what the womans skin color is if she is with a white man no one likes it i wish you all would just leave white men the fuck alone i dont hear anyone complaining about black men dating interracially can you tell me why and if you say i am off the subject just look at how many times some black guy has turned the focus from white to black on these blogs please get a life and leave the white man alone
No. Black men in general are taller than white men, but only about 8% of the white women go with black men. It has everything to do with race and skin color and how the kids will look. No one wants to give away privilege that easily.
"why is asian women and white men such a big topic it is a fact that no matter what the womans skin color is if she is with a white man no one likes it i wish you all would just leave white men the fuck alone i dont hear anyone complaining about black men dating interracially can you tell me why and if you say i am off the subject just look at how many times some black guy has turned the focus from white to black on these blogs please get a life and leave the white man alone"That is exactly what I am saying. Leave the white man and his Asian woman alone. I am suggesting that if the Asian do that, they will date and marry Asians from abroad, which means one million more non-white immigrants to this country, and if the black woman leaves the black man alone to date whomever he wants and goes for a foreign black, that would mean another five million non-white immigrants. Together, the Asian man and the black woman can make whites a minority in this country. Thanks for your advise.
Why date a white woman? They age fast after age 25. They also become fat after age 25. Do you really want to be with an old looking, fat woman? White women should stick with their own kind because any smart asian man wouldn't want an old looking fat white woman.
Yes, the poor white man. The most oppressed victim in North America. If you can't deal with this type of oppression now, if you were a minority in this country, I think you'd kill yourself by now.The reason why others don't like you is because you don't know WHY others don't like you. Your ignorance reminds me of the story about the fisherman and the white guy who's driving his boat around.On the banks of the river, there is a fisherman attempting to catch fish to feed his family. In the middle of the river, there is a white man who's driving his boat around at top speed, enjoying life and himself. Unfortunately, he doesn't notice that the wake left in the water from the boat is scaring the fish away.Meanwhile, the fisherman is complaining and yelling at him but the white man in the boat is too far away to see him."mike," pull your head out of your ass and know that not everything revovles around you.Reminds me of another joke:"How many white men does it take to screw in a light bulb.""Just one. One white man to hold the light bulb into the socket and for the rest of the world to revolve around him."
Not to spend too much energy on "mike" but I suspect that you would find similar conversations occuring on black-focused blogs especially black women focused blogs. You might also see a comparable hue and cry if black men were out-marrying at a 30%+ rate. But they're not - although many a white man thinks that the 'mandigo' is still 'lusting after his womanfolk' - to whit your comment Mike.And Girlfriend, thanks for the stats but if you look at the second page you would quickly conclude that the out-marriage rate for East Asian American women is over the 30% clip (for Koreans they marry more non-Koreans than Koreans!) and that the 'preference' (sorry Ken) is overwhelmingly towards white men. Seems there is a bit of a discrimination stain in the East Asian American women's flag.Back to Mike, if you really read the posts you would see that the primary 'question' has been posed to Asian American women, not white men. This example of a cognative misread on your part Mike, sort of underlines RP's point.It's not really about 'you'.
Rice Patty:That is funny. "How many white men does it take to fix a levy?" Hundreds of white men in the Army Corp of Engineers and it aint fixed yet. "How many white men does it take to fix a bridge?" None, because it does not exist anymore thanks to the white man.And by the way, what race is the fisherman?
Mike:When the white man stops whining about affirmative action and the blacks taking their women, the Asian will stop complaining about Asian women and white men.
Mike -When white men stop stereotyping Asians and treat us more fairly in the media, perhaps people will stop complaining.White men's idea of diversity - Minority women. Asian men or minority men for that matter need not apply.White men's idea of interracial relations - It is good as long as the men is white. See just about every single Hollywood movie for examples. Again, minority men need not apply cause we don't want to affect white men's fragile egos.Of course, white men want everyone to shut up cause status quo is good for the white men. After all, as long as white men are portrayed as the ideal men who cares about anyone else. Who cares about racism as long as it favors the white men right?My advice to you - wake the fuck up!
I agree with Eddy, "girlfriend." You should be rereading the article and statistics presented before you. For some specific Asian groups, women are more likely to have a white partner than an Asian one. Also, I want you to factor in unmarried Asian women with non-Asian men which is also presented on the second page.The statistics are staggering.How can this be if the Asian American population is exploding right behind Latinos? One word; immigration.The only reason why the Asian community is "growing" is because it is sustained by immigration. If the white male controlled country decided to close down it's borders in the next 10 years (which they are fully capable of doing so), it's estimated that the Asian community would be bred out in a matter of generations based on these statistics alone. There is a bill proposed by Congress right now that would not allow immigrants to endorse their families overseas as citizens.There is only one demographic that resembles Asian Americans in terms of dating habits, Jews. Jews currently have a 50% interracial marriage rate and their population hasn't grown in decades. This is the future of Asian America.Tamil, the minorities of America are represented by the fisherman.Sakomoto and AV, that's why I hate how America is trumping up the virtues of interracial dating. As long as white men aren't losing too much, it's all good. It's all right because it's all white. Interracial dating and marriage has caused more strife and animosity in minority communities than helped. Then there are idiots that believe interracial dating proves racism is dying. It's so stupid that it's beyond comprehension.Ironically, some of the most racist white men are married to Asian women.Some recent examples from the news include:1.) White sheriff in Farmer's Branch, Texas said that as long as he was chief, there would be no "gooks" on his police force. He's married to a Japanese woman. The good news is that he was turned in by other white people.2.) Producer for NBC's Law and Order constantly referred to Asians as "Chinamen." His wife is Chinese.3.) JV from the talkshow "Doghouse" constantly made anti-Asian male remarks. He's married to a Korean import model.If I was a white man and wanted to rid the country of minorities, I would push interracial marriage because it's the only way to absorb a minority community.In the words of King Edward the Longshanks: "The problem with Scotland is that it's full of Scots. If we can't get them out, we'll bred them out."As much as it's the PC thing to say and do, being colorblind is dangerous. It sounds good on paper to be colorblind, gender blind, religion blind, and sexual orientation blind.However, there is a very dangerous word in all of them. Can you spot it? It's the word "blind." It means you can't see. I'd rather see everything and make my decisions based on all available information.
"The only reason why the Asian community is "growing" is because it is sustained by immigration. If the white male controlled country decided to close down it's borders in the next 10 years (which they are fully capable of doing so), it's estimated that the Asian community would be bred out in a matter of generations based on these statistics alone."Not going to happen."There is a bill proposed by Congress right now that would not allow immigrants to endorse their families overseas as citizens."The bill is dead."There is only one demographic that resembles Asian Americans in terms of dating habits, Jews. Jews currently have a 50% interracial marriage rate and their population hasn't grown in decades. This is the future of Asian America."No need. The Jews are more influential now than they were ever before."Tamil, the minorities of America are represented by the fisherman."OK."Sakomoto and AV, that's why I hate how America is trumping up the virtues of interracial dating. As long as white men aren't losing too much, it's all good. It's all right because it's all white. Interracial dating and marriage has caused more strife and animosity in minority communities than helped. Then there are idiots that believe interracial dating proves racism is dying. It's so stupid that it's beyond comprehension."Racism wont die until whites become a minority in the USA."Ironically, some of the most racist white men are married to Asian women."One British guy in the place I work is married to an African but does not like blacks."In the words of King Edward the Longshanks: "The problem with Scotland is that it's full of Scots. If we can't get them out, we'll bred them out."Scots who left the shores have been bred out. Their mixed descendants are are called whites.
People, there is no need, nor is it fair to jump on Mike's head all day and night. He is just a person posting on the blog and IF it truly is 'not about him', then demonstrate that.Now I am going to piss some of you off.White men are not 'taking' Asian American women. No one is driving up at night; throwing a pillowcase over the woman's head and dragging her off in a van with the windows tinted out. They are not being hypnotized. AA women are CHOOSING white men. The question is WHY? And that question goes to AA women. NOT white men.(can you blame them? AA women are so fine! but I digress...)On the 'bredding out' of Asians, I disagree. How to prevent it? Why not take the long held American approach? The 'one drop' rule that is almost universally applied to black/white interracial children - the child is categorized as 'black' and this is pretty much irrespective of what the child actually looks like.I theorize that the reason this is not so readily applied to the offspring of asian/white couples is because Asian Americans - in large measure - would rather 'be' white than not be white. We crow about Will Demps and Ward Hines NOW but what about BEFORE they were 'big time'? This voluntary group subrogation of AA 'culture' (see previous post about the challenge of identifying/defining Asian American culture) and identity to white American 'culture' (the root of which is the presupposition that "American" = "white") is, in my opinion, a key element of this problem.[An aside, Black Americans seem to be much more about pulling people into their group - even if its sort of an 'honorary' status. When they exclude or ostracize it is more often out of a philosophical difference than a pigmentation or racial lineage issue. Compare the attitudes towards Bill Clinton and Clarence Thomas.]If Asian Americans are, in the quest to solidify their 'American-ness' talking about "Boy, those white people sure have got it together. I want to be like that!" then it should not come as any surprise that an Asian American who is offered the social mobility to 'move up' is going to take that step. Further, the racism that is displayed when looking at the out-marriage numbers should come as no surprise either. In fact I would expect that Asian Americans would be MORE racist in their mate selections than whites since their 'hold' on what they perceive as American indentity is more tenuous. THIS IS NOT TO ACCUSE ALL ASIAN AMERICANS WHO HAVE WHITE S.O. OF BEING RACIST AND SOCIAL CLIMBERS. SOME (I hope most) ARE 'IN IT' FOR LOVE. But love is not blind...sometimes it hallucinates.Ken, AV, RP (and CCBT if this applies to you) you have all mentioned your disdain for AA women who are 'snow blind' and that you've dated non-Asians. In this activity have you largely pursued white women? If not, did she have to look like Beyonce? (hot, but a very fair-skinned Black) And I don't mean 'I've dated a Black\Latina\Other" for a single lunch, dinner or movie - that is easy. But a single lunch date or dinner date does not equal 'dating' someone. I'm talking about seriously dating. Have you considered it? If not, why not? Have you not met someone who 'shares your goals, outlook and sense of humor"? If you think about it are you doing something similar to AA women and your real 'gripe' is that the AA women is not picking you?As for media - contrary to AV's post, today's TV medium seems to have latched onto the 'black male/asian female' couple (see other thread on the Hyphen Blog) DESPITE THE OVERWHELMING EVIDENCE THAT THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN in over 98% of 'real life'.Why is that?To placate racist white women?To ferment divisions between Asians and Blacks? (Both hard to reconcile with overly liberal Hollywood mindsets)To show examples of good relationships between Asians and Blacks so as to decrease tensions.I don't know. The jury's still out.You've got to look deeper to find the source of this river."Big Bad White Men" don't scare me any more. I'm worried about the enemy within.
Bottom line - Asian women who are selling out to the white men reinforces Asian men stereotypes and some of these women have no problem spreading their views on TV or whatever. That is the source of the major gender divide right there. When it comes to defending Asian men in the media, it is usually white or black women who are dating men and rarely ever from Asian women. It seems only the sellout Asian women have the biggest voice in the media and white men love to put these women in Hollywood or in front of a mic to further spread the stereotypes.
I agree with Eddy for the most part.The cancer is rotting the body from within and non-Asian women have been more attentive when it comes to addressing anti-Asian male stereotypes.Look, there is a long history of Asian women and black men belittling their opposite genders because they have the option to date whites while the other side is less apt to. Therefore, they know we'll always be around and can leave, annoying, and even mock us. After all, where are black women/Asian men going to go? If whites ever tire of black men and Asian women, they'll come flooding back and proclaim how we were better anyway.We stay home like the battered spouse waiting until 3AM for them to come home. The biggest enemy of these two communities is caused from the inside, not outside.Glad to know all whites have to do in order to divide a community is to accept one but not the other. Just shows how well "pride" stands up until white society is willing to accept you.To answer Eddy, my brother is dating a black girl and their relationship has been pushing 4 years now.
Ha-ha.I guess Asian people really -are- naturally treacherous. Throw them a bone and they’ll tear each other to pieces fighting over it rather than watching out for each other and sharing.If Asian people actually had a pan-identity movement and the women didn't leave the men twisting in the wind, they'd actually be a threat to white power.It's so funny because the solution is right in front of your faces and you can't see the forest for the trees.
i date wf before they get fat.
"As for media - contrary to AV's post, today's TV medium seems to have latched onto the 'black male/asian female' couple (see other thread on the Hyphen Blog) DESPITE THE OVERWHELMING EVIDENCE THAT THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN in over 98% of 'real life'.Why is that? To placate racist white women?"Yes.
"I guess Asian people really -are- naturally treacherous. Throw them a bone and they’ll tear each other to pieces fighting over it rather than watching out for each other and sharing."True. Look at how Indians are tearing each other apart in this blog..pretty sad!!http://hindustan.net/discus/messages/211/8620.html?1003947223"It's so funny because the solution is right in front of your faces and you can't see the forest for the trees."They need to go abroad and marry Asian women and flood this country with non-white immigrants. That is the only way the problem of racism will be solved...make whites a minority.
You are still focusing on a symptom and not the disease. Ask yourself this question: if white women were as interested in you - as an Asian man - as you perceive white men are interested in Asian women, would you still be complaining? Ask and answer this question honestly.Also, to compare the frequency of out-marriage of Black men to the frequency for Asian American women is disingenuous. Blacks out marry at about a 10% rate which is much lower (less than 1/3) than that of Asian momen. It is inappropriate to compare whites to any other group because they outnumber all the other groups by wide margins. In most groups, men out marry more than women (remnants of patriarchy!) EXCEPT Asians and Latinos (however men and women are much closer than Asians and remember, there are white Latinos).The big issue is NOT that Asian women out marry, it is expected and normal that that some percentage would. The issue is the EXTENT to which they out marry - a friggin' lot.BUT it is my contention or concern that the PROBLEM lies deeper that that. I suspect that IF Asian men had the same opportunity to marry white women THAT THEY WOULD ALSO DO IT!!Now the problem that this unmasks is a deeper, more fundamental devaluation of Asian American-ness by Asian Americans when THEY compare it to white American-ness.White people cannot be expected to make YOU value YOUR culture. Even if they tried, they would probably do a bad job.RP, it sounds like your brother has found himself someone who cares for him and he has not abandoned her due to capacity for 'social advancement' or the lack thereof. It speaks well for your upbringing. It tells us not much about you. How do your parents react to your brother's choice? The rest of your family and friends?CCBT do you have anything (studies; investigation, etc) to back up your assertion? It 'feels' retinal in some ways, but in others it seems very inconsistent with the idea of a 'liberal' Hollywood. I'm not dismissing it, but would love to see some validation.
"CCBT do you have anything (studies; investigation, etc) to back up your assertion? It 'feels' retinal in some ways, but in others it seems very inconsistent with the idea of a 'liberal' Hollywood. I'm not dismissing it, but would love to see some validation."What studies are you talking about? Anything particular? Hollywood and the GOP are not much different. GOP is closet liberal as Hollywood is open liberal. The main players in both groups sleep around, fornicate, have homosexual relationships, go to prostitutes, get drunk, have several marriages, aka, Rush Limbaugh..so not much different. However, they both are conservative (racist) in one respect, they plan to maintain a pure white lineage, dont encourage mixing of races, particularly whites with other races, dont encourage interracial dating or marriages, and lately push the mixture of non-white population (and hence more black men/asian women pairings) etc. In short, there is no difference between the GOP and Hollywood. The latter would do it in the open while the former are closet liberals except for one issue, race.
Yes CCBT I was looking for particulars, specifics, names and citations. You reponded with some 'comparison' of the the GOP and Hollywood as indistinguishable. Frankly as the saying goes "that dog won't hunt", so I'll take that as a 'no, I don't'. You also say that their intent is to maintain a pure white lineage and are against interracial mixing, but at the same time are 'promoting' black male/asian female pairings. This is kind of contradictory to me.Can anbody else help out on this issue?
"Yes CCBT I was looking for particulars, specifics, names and citations. You reponded with some 'comparison' of the the GOP and Hollywood as indistinguishable. Frankly as the saying goes "that dog won't hunt", so I'll take that as a 'no, I don't'. You also say that their intent is to maintain a pure white lineage and are against interracial mixing, but at the same time are 'promoting' black male/asian female pairings. This is kind of contradictory to me."MS Masala: Indian female and a black male.One Night Stand: Wesley Snipes and Ming Na WenGrey's Anatomy: Sandra Oh and Isiah WashingtonCode Name: The Cleaner: Lucy Liu and Cedric the EntertainerAlly MacBeal: Lucy Liu and her love interest, cant remember his name.There even was an Asian man with a black woman pairing: Jet Li and the late Aaliyah in Romeo Must Die, back in 200o, but no white female, Asian male pairing although that is more common than asian male/black female.ER: Parminder Nagra marries Shafiq Atkinshttp://www.mixedmediawatch.com/2006/02/23/the-new-trend-of-asian-women-with-black-men/http://www.sepiamutiny.com/sepia/archives/003575.html"You also say that their intent is to maintain a pure white lineage and are against interracial mixing, but at the same time are 'promoting' black male/asian female pairings."I should have been clearer. Purity of the white women, which also the white women audience wants.The GOP and Hollywood actually think alike. Both philander, both fornicate, both have sex outside marriage and both have several members who have had multiple marriages including Rudy Gulliani and Newt Gingrich (not very different from Elizabeth Taylor). However, both use race as the wedge issue to get viewers in the case of Hollywood and get supporters in the case of GOP. Both oppose interracial marriages with white women (Hollywood does not even show a black/white pairing unless it is some form of scandal) and the GOP in its commercials (remember I met Harold at the Playboy Party commercial in Tennessee??).
The marriage rates of APIA men and women over the age of 15 are about even at 58.2 and 57.8 percent according to the U.S. Census Bureau’s 2006 American Community Survey. 55 and 51.5 percent of white men and women were married, 48.5 and 46.6 percent of Latino men and women were married, 40.1 and 38.6 percent of Native American men and women were married, and 34.9 and 27.1 percent of black men and women were married.So actually, APIA men over 15 have the highest marriage rate in the US.
Do you remember the real life Asian male/white female couple who got lost in the mountains of Oregon? I believe James Kim and Kati Kim are their names and the father died trying to find help for the family. Now I hear that they would be featured in Without a Trace, but it is either as a white-white couple or as a black male/asian female couple. I would be looking out.
Congratulations.
Do you remember the real life Asian male/white female couple who got lost in the mountains of Oregon? I believe James Kim and Kati Kim are their names and the father died trying to find help for the family. Now I hear that they would be featured in Without a Trace, but it is either as a white-white couple or as a black male/asian female couple. I would be looking out.
Black man asian woman couples in Hollywood:Kira Watanabe-Finster and Chaz Finster, All Grown Up!Richard Fish and Ling Woo, Ally McBealGalen Tyrol and Sharon "Boomer"Valerii, Battlestar GalacticaKarl "Helo" Agathon and Sharon "Boomer" Valerii, Battlestar GalacticaJason Gibbons and Alex Munday, Charlie's AngelsJohn and Vivian, Chinese BoxSuperboy (Kon-El) and Tana Moon, DC Comics charactersMark Deosdade and Laurel Yeung, EdgemontDoctor and mistress, The Final CutHarry Potter and Cho Chang, Harry Potter seriesDaniel LaRusso and Kumiko, The Karate Kid, Part IIBobby Hill and Connie Souphanousinphone, King of the HillAurelius and Mira, The Last LegionNathan Algren and Taka, The Last SamuraiB.F. Pinkerton and Cio-Cio-san (Butterfly), Madama ButterflyHarry Callahan and Sunny, Magnum ForceWolverine and Mariko Yashida, Marvel Comics charactersMax and Soon Lee Klinger, M*A*S*H and After M*A*S*HSonny Crockett and Isabella, Miami ViceChris and Kim, Miss SaigonDoug and Tilo, The Mistress of SpicesThomas Fowler and Phuong, The Quiet AmericanRambo and Co Bao, Rambo: First Blood Part IIMiles and Keiko O'Brien, Star Trek:The Next Generation and Star Trek: Deep Space Ninedoctor and assistant SawMariko and John Blackthorne, ShogunIshmael and Hatsue, Snow Falling on CedarsCale and Akima, Titan A.E.Wayne Campbell and Cassandra, Wayne's World
Think I posted the wrong stuff. The above is the Asian woman/white male couples..sorry for this blunder. Sunday morning. Here is the real asian woman/black male couples:Asian woman and Black manBryan and Jun Ni, Hair ShowKenny and his Wife, Rush Hour 2Web Smith and Jingo Asakuma, Rising SunJackson Duper and Ling Woo, Ally McBealMarcus Jackson and Lois Wong Jackson, Bad SantaDr. Gregory Pratt and Dr. Jing-Mei "Deb" Chen, ERDr. Michael Gallant and Dr. Neela Rasgotra, ERG and XiXi, My Baby's DaddyBrandon and May-Ling, Fakin' Da FunkDr. Preston Burke and Dr. Cristina Yang, Grey's AnatomyDemetrius Williams and Meena, Mississippi MasalaMac and Quon Lee Robinson, Night CourtMax and Mimi Carlyle, One Night StandJ. Calvin Frazier and Wendy, Grown Ups (Episode: 'Instant Karma')Neil Shaw and Julia Fang, Art of WarMookie and Jee, GasKasper Cole and Gwen, Black PantherJue and Thaddeus, Final Flight of the OsirisSteve Grant and Lucy Westenra, The BreedMichael and Genie, FaceNathan and Marife, Midnight Sunshine, a novel by Kelvin L. ReedDr. Georgianna Wong and Mark, Troublemaker and Other Saints, a novel by Christina Chiu (Story: 'Doctor')Greg and Noelle ( both uncredited), Grey's Anatomy (Episode: 'Let the Angels Commit')Lt. Henry Purcell and Thai Girlfriend, StealthJake Rodgers and Gina, Code Name: The CleanerTej and Suki, 2 Fast 2 FuriousChandler and Kee, The Golden ChildHoshi Sato and Travis Mayweather, Star Trek: Enterprise (Episode: 'In a Mirror Darkly, Part II')Almost equal numbers as the other pairing.
I think the reason they have black male and Asian women on TV is simple - trying to PC to every while killing two birds with one stone (showing two minorities). In real life, most AFs would never date black men. This is the same for Asian males too. I have dated BFs myself. I believe there are many BFs are open to date Asian men, but most Asian men never thought of going down that route due their own racism.I think these issues will continue to be a problem as long as we all live in an Anglo Saxon dominated country like America. Americans are changing and there are now 100M minorities in this country. Maybe someday the same images will be reflected on TV.It really is up to each individual Asian guy to get his own confidence and image and not let this society ruin you from the day you are born.
AV, THANK YOU!!! Great summation and you are the first to acknowledge racism as an issue amongst AA men. An increase in confidence, a decrease in racism and an removal of concern or preoccupation with 'white' will help AA men and AA women which can only be good for everyone concerned - even those who remain or choose interracial relationships because there would be less 'suspicion' about the underlying reasons for that relationship.CCBT, here is what you posted in response to my question:"As for media - contrary to AV's post, today's TV medium seems to have latched onto the 'black male/asian female' couple (see other thread on the Hyphen Blog) DESPITE THE OVERWHELMING EVIDENCE THAT THIS DOES NOT HAPPEN in over 98% of 'real life'.Why is that? To placate racist white women?"Yes.Posted by: Charcoal Colored Black Tamil at September 1, 2007 5:40 PMWhat I ws looking for was some materials, study, survey, analysis that supported or substantiated your "Yes" reply.A listing of TV couples and movies (especially movies as they are typically one shot deals, so have limited lasting social impact) does not substantiate your claim. Also, the operative qualifier I placed on my comment was "TODAY'S TV".I am inclined to go with AV's position - it gives Hollywood a chance for the "double play" on minority representation without too much work or ruffling many feathers. If they put an Asian women with a white man they get accused of reinforcing the 'geisha' image; if they put a black man with a white women they get hate mail from the GOP's base; if they put a black man with a black woman and they have any 'strife' they get accused of reinforcing a negative message (notice that all of those couples go thru some 'ghetto' problem even though most Black Americans are not poor nor live in poverty) and if they make them Asian male/asian females they will have to go find asian male actors or else make them sound like immigrants and have them run a restaurant, grocery store or dry cleaners (maybe the occassional Dunkin' Donuts). All too much work!Sakamoto, if they dare to present the Lees story and shift the race of ANY of the characters then the outcry should be HUGH! It is an insult to the family to shift the characterizations and capitalize on their tragedy but deny them any reward from the pot of gold they will make.It is the same sort of insult that occured in that Nick Cage 9-11 film where they 'overlooked' the fact that one of the key rescuers of Cage's character in real life was Black but they cast a white guy.
You are an idiot, Ms. Darko.
"Sakamoto, if they dare to present the Lees story and shift the race of ANY of the characters then the outcry should be HUGH! It is an insult to the family to shift the characterizations and capitalize on their tragedy but deny them any reward from the pot of gold they will make."You mean the Kim story?
yes Kim....MY BAD!
EG:I dont know what we can do about it if they indeed show a white family or a white male/Asian female couple or even a black male/Asian female couple. They would say it is for ratings, and we all will shout and yell, but nothing seems to come off it.
EG:No I have not seen specific studies. The only studies that exist are on modeling industry. You put a non-white female model and the white women stop buying the magazine..and mind you just for putting a black woman. Just imagine what would happen if they put an interracial couple on the cover of cosmopolitan. Will that magazine put an Asian female/white male couple or even an Asian female? I very much doubt it.However, there are other informal "studies" and evidence that this is indeed the case:http://www.tolerance.org/news/article_tol.jsp?id=1234And look at the bigotry and "pity" for the mixed Asian-white children in this blog..http://www.halfsigma.com/2006/08/interracial_mar.html
I've been reading Hyphenmagazine.com for quite a bit now and I believe this is the longest thread in the history of this website. Haha.With that out of the way, carry on.
Let us make it the longest running and difficult for other threads to catch up.
But does the length of the thread get us any closer to an answer? It is a shame that the women have dropped out, but I suppose that if they feel under attack it is understandable.AV, you mentioned that AA men don't tend to think of other non-Asian women as desireable (Blacks & Latinos) and that white women are unobtainable. Why do you think they feel that way? I was raised to not discount or dismiss anyone based on race and with opportunities to learn about a lot of different histories. What was your upbringing like? Do you and yoor brother have different views on the subject? Was your family mindful of those issues or is it something your brother came to as an adult?What do you guys think of the impact of 'learned racism' which presents whites as 'ideal' as a contributing factor in the 'second tier' status that many AA women place AA men? If AA men are taught racism, so would their 'sisters' and if that is the case, then their sisters might come to view 'white' as the superior option and push AA men to 'also-rans'.Do you think that your AA male friends are more sexist or chauvinistic than your white male friends? Black males? Latino males?
No offense but it doesn't look like any women decided to comment or offer any real insight anyway.They said 2-3 things and disappeared. If everyone decided to quit after feeling "attacked" in a debate, the proper route to take is to defend and attack someone else's argument, not tuck tail and run.
I think that people should be able to date whomever they want. As for Asian American women preferring White men? As an Asian American woman, I do not, and I am so sick and tired of perverted old White men hitting on me someone half their age.
As a rule, I agree but some of the attacks were not really 'on the merits of an arguement' but name-calling and the like. That approach isn't one to keep a person engaged especially if they can simply avoid the situation by moving on. To a great extent, I would presume that the women who would regularly post on or read this blog or the magazine, Hyphen are not of the mindset that creates these clashes. There was a bit of 'defending the gender' which I can understand but blanket defenses like blanket condemnations don't get us very far.I really would like to get some broader thoughts on this stuff. Men aren't all pigs, but you have to admit that some of the Japanese Manga/Hentai stuff can be pretty awful (misogynistic) and I am still puzzled by their tendency to draw characters as 'whites' (racially) even for product that seems targetted to Japanese audiences. WTF??

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