Hyphen TV: Eyeball Assault

February 7, 2012

     Phi Phi O'Hara puts the "post" in post-apocalyptic.

Last week marked the return of television's most fabulous show, RuPaul's Drag Race. This year we've got our eyes on two divalicious Filipina goddesses, Jiggly Caliente of Queens, NY, and Phi Phi O'Hara of Chicago. Jiggly took an early lead, winning the photo challenge despite falling off the rotating platform she was standing on ("Topsy-turvy, topple over, fatty," she later said about herself), but then she landed in the bottom two for the "Rupocalypse" challenge, nearly getting eliminated. Her sewing skills weak (a fact that many of her drag sisters angrily pounced upon) and her accessorizing skills probably a little too strong, Jiggly's post-apocalyptic outfit was a mess that "assaulted" guest judge Elvira's eyeballs. Eesh.

                       So she was a liiittle heavy-handed with the glue gun.

And so Jiggly had to lip synch for her life, but she pulled it out in her performance of "Toxic" (get it?), throwing her all into her dance moves and even tossing in one of those impressive (and painful-looking) splits. Her energy got her through to the next episode, but I hope my girl Jiggly gets it together in the dressmaking department soon.

Phi Phi didn't get terribly much on-screen time in this episode (it's still early, and there are so many girls to meet!), but she did get some pithy digs in at her competition. Her outfit got her in with the safe girls, and the judges thought she was wearing a dreamcatcher over her delicates. Looking forward to seeing more of you next time, Phi.

Also premiering this week was The Voice, or, That Show With the Spinny Chairs. Auditioning was US Air Force Staff Sgt. Angie Johnson, who is a singer in the Air Force band and whose performance (with the military band Sidewinder) of "Rolling in the Deep" went viral on YouTube last year (see it here). Voice host Carson Daly saw the video, pulled some Carson Daly strings, and now Angie's on the show. Though she's been in combat, she's still nervous to perform for the judges. Luckily she has her adorable mom with her (you guys know I'm a sucker for a cute Asian mommy), and she's used to being watched by millions.

Angie's rockin' rendition of "Heartbreaker" was good enough to get Cee Lo to turn his chair around, so look for Angie on Team Cee Lo later down the line. Though she didn't hit her button, Christina noted that Ange stayed on pitch throughout the difficult song, so I'm thinking we're only scratching the surface of what this Air Force sergeant can do. Congratulations, Angie!

           Who knew our armed forced looked so good?

Mike Chang got another performance in with Artie this week on Glee's Michael Jackson episode. They love pairing those guys, don't they? Hey, no complaints from me, even if it means Mike's in heavy eyeliner and plastic clothes for MJ's "Scream." Lookin' good, Chang!

         Oh, if Mike Chang's dad could see him now.

It was Pee-wee week on Top Chef and the chefs were tasked with making pancakes for Mr. Herman in their Quickfire challenge. Ed was the only one to do anything truly different with the common pancake (though your champagne dippin' dots did sound intriguing, Paul), making tiny little pancakes that resembled the "crispy bits" made from the batter splashing in the pan (I love those too, Ed!). He got his first Quickfire win and $5,000.

  Mmm, the crispies.

The elimination challenge had the chefs biking all over San Antonio, and we found out that Paul was in a scary-sounding bike accident that left him with one bright red side of his face every time he drinks (lots of us get the whole red head, so maybe that's not that bad). He roasted a chicken infused with Thai flavors and served it with a summer salad. The judges liked his blend of sweetness and vinegar, and Pee-wee noted that Paul's plate had the least food left on it at the end of the meal. He was safe.

In order to not have his chicken overcook on his bike ride back, Ed undercooked the meat slightly, but this planning turned against him when the judges noted the still-undercooked meat and odd texture and put him in the bottom two. Once again I thought it was the end for Ed, but he squeaked by to safety for a second time. Ed and Jiggly, you have to quit playin' games with my heart. No more bottom two, okay?


Dianne Choie


Dianne Choie's TV is in Brooklyn, NY. She has a cat, several reusable shopping bags, and other mildly annoying stereotypes of youngish people who live in Brooklyn.



I think you're mixing up Jiggly and Latrice Royale - Jiggly did win the photo challenge and she did fall off the stage, but it was Latrice who posed fiercely on the ground after she fell (and, IMO, should have won for that).

I know that Jiggly's photo did not feature her on the ground, as Latrice's did (agreed that the latter made the most of a bad situation), but I had noted that Jiggly did some posing while she was on the ground as well. On second watching, it does seem more like she was posing her arms more because she was in a daze than for the camera. I'll fix above -- thanks for the careful read!