David gave me Chlamydia. I’m sticking with
this conviction.

I was sitting at my desk when it started—this dull pain behind my left testicle fading in and out. Before lunchtime I called my doctor’s office and described the symptoms. “A dull throb. It’s nothing too distracting,” I said. “I mean, I’m not in so much pain that I’m driven to saw it off with a rusty blade.”