Ryan Furtado

So You Want To Be a Ninja?

Illustrator Patt Kelley

You did it, I did it, we all did it: the childhood ninja phase. When you learned that being a fireman was actually dangerous, policemen were assholes, and you would never make the height requirements for an astronaut—being a ninja was a solid alternative to fill in the “what I want to be when I grow up” slot in your life. Why leave those dreams to the kiddies? Simply follow the wealth of advice listed below and you’ll be on your way to becoming the most feared covert operations agent since the Sengoku Era (1467–1615) of Japan.