OK, SPARKY, here's the deal. If you really want to ignite the sacred heart of that cutie pie across the church hall, you've got to plan every move. So, take notes, rehearse, tear this out and bring it with you!

HEAVENLY ENTRANCE

Your outward appearance should not only turn heads but also emphasize your heavenly devotion. Your checklist might include a Bible on your hip, a Bible verse T-shirt, some angel wings or a halo. OK, probably not a halo. As far as your physical entrance goes, shoot for angelic grace. A better entrance would be similar to Data's zip line entrance to Mikey's house in The Goonies, minus the penis-severing table crash. Stick the landing and nobody in that room can ignore you.

FIRST CONTACT

Make your best effort to establish contact before you have to pick a seat and settle down. This means mingling. So, brush that shoulder or bump that rump and start chatting.

FOOD FAITH = FRISKY FUN

Two easy "go to" topics are food and, of course, faith. With your objective, each statement should bring you closer to planting those seeds of love!

Some fun and flirty food fodder:

Pardon me; I believe one of your ribs belongs to me.

Your dumplings are steaming hot!

I don't want to bum my tongue on your buns.

Using faith to fan the flames of love:

Check the shirt tag, and profess, "Just as I suspected-Made in heaven."

Is it a sin that you stole my heart?

I think listening to praise music in the dark is so much more powerful. Care to join me?

If you think these tips aren't worth your time, you might want to think again. You'll be amazed at how many of your Christian brothers and sisters will end up marrying one another within the next five years, and you don't want to be the only one stuck subscribing to "Singles of Faith" or "Dating Disciples" online. And remember, 1 Corinthians might say that "Love is patient, love is kind..." but it doesn't say that love is going to wait forever. So get up off your moral high horse and flex a little flirting power while you fellowship. A good Christian man or woman is hard to find.