I'm seeing more and more of these Asian men-white women pairings. My sister married a Chinese and they seem to be doing ok. It may have to do with the common perception that Asian guys represent stability, very good earning power, and faithfulness. Of course this moron Jon who dates other women while still married fits none of these stereotype.

You know why no Asians ever had any comments on what she said? Because most Asians (mostly males) only complain when they see a white man and an Asian woman because they automatically say that no man of another race can ever be attracted to an Asian girl unless it was a fetish but since the stereotype is that Asian guys can't get any, Asian guys take what they can get when it comes from a white female and they'll take false pride. If the white girl has an Asian fetish, they think it's a compliment but at the same time put down the Asian females by mocking that white men only like them because they have fetishes.

If you are attracted to your own race does that mean you have a fetish for your race as well? A white woman with a preference for asian men on the physical level is no different than a white woman with a preference for white men on the physical level. We are all human. We like who and what we like whether it's similar or different to us.

In america there are somethings that you can say but others you cant its just the way things are. it doesnt mean its RIGHT but its REALITYFor example:whatif kate was black and jon was white. and the kids happen to look white even though theyre half black.what if kate said " i always wanted my kids to look WHITE. i have a thing for white men. Ive always liked white barbie dolls. Hey i wish i was white" !!!think about it that would be a huge issue! and they would say it was self hatred.

I think you're overreacting. I'm an Asian viewer and I don't consider anything Kate said to be offensive. Like blue eyes or big lips, "Asian features" can be found specifically attractive to some people. What's the harm in that? If someone complimented me for my ethnicity I would be flattered. People need to stop being so gaurded about race. Get over yourselves. And "China dolls," to me, refers more to porcelain-like perfection and aesthetic than to an "Asian fetish" as you like to imply.

As far as I know I am a white person. I was also raised in the Catholic religion - which makes me (gasp) Christian! I apologize in advance if my comments are not welcome here.You don't have to be Asian or non-Christian to notice and be appalled by Kate's China Doll comment or any of her negative behaviors. I watched that show for a while but after a few dips in that water a clear minded person of any race sees the truth and walks away from filth. By the way Jon Milquetoast Gosselin is no better or less guilty than Mothra Kate.Wishing you much happiness, Liz

I'm probably going to get flamed to a crisp for this, but fuck it. You can say whatever you want.I don't have an issue with what Kate said. In fact, it made my day. (This is assuming, of course, that she did say such things. I'm at work and can't see the videos.)Every day, in the media, we see women of all cultural backgrounds opining, "I have a thing for [black/white/Italian/Latino/Jewish/whatever] guys." Rare can you fill in the blank with "Asian."So why shouldn't we have our time in the spotlight? The more we see/hear this in mainstream media, the more common it will become, and the more likely that Asian men can also be regarded as sex symbols in the eyes of the general populace without anyone looking askance.For the record, my wife--my very Irish-American wife--likes Jon and Kate; I sit through it to appease her. I find these people heinous and think that Jon is a poor representative of the Asian-American community. I think they should just break up, already.Oh, and I'm Chinese-American, for the record. Whether that makes a difference or not for the purposes of this comment, meh.

you need to calm down

Um, wow. That's a little creepy. But cute that she's so enamored with the unique looks of her little quappas, I suppose.

I saw that whole episode. I believe someone had written in and they asked if it bothered Kate that her children did not look like her.She said no, it didn't, that her kids are beautiful, and if she knows she is their Mother, and they know, who cares? And then she went on to say why she thinks her kids are beautiful.As a Hapa, I do like this show (Or I did before all the current bs) because it did show a Hapa family, which is very similar in looks to mine.I think when people talk about their spouse, and they are the same race, people don't make a comment about, "He had the most amazing blue eyes' and so on, so while Kate may seem to have a bit of a thing for Asians....why is that a bad thing?Her kids are some of the very few Asians on a television show on America. And they are really the FIRST to have their own show that runs - because Margaret Cho's show tanked. So...since Margaret's was the LAST show to showcase (to an extent) an Asian American family, why hate on the people that are (till they get divorced) an actual family who was not put together by Executives, I say good for them.And again, this was a loaded question in the first place for a viewer to ask - what she felt about her kids not looking like her. Her kids are her kids.

I am from India and though I am not technically considered 'Asian' in America, I am because India is in Asia. Americans seem to be consider people from China, Japan, Korea, Thailand as Asian or people with Mongoloid features and seem surprised that I am Asian-American too. As I have watched Jon and Kate a few times before it turned into a rolling commercial and was about the kids, I think I can give my perspective.I think there is this notion that Asians are very smart, family oriented and would not easily divorce. I do not know how it is among other Asian communities, but it is very common for people born and raised in the Indian community in America to go for an arranged marriage from someone in India or in America. I had one too and I am happily married, very supportive husband, but we did not date. Indians rarely come out of their community for marriage. Some of them may date other ethnicities, mostly unknown to their parents, but rarely marry outside their communities. If however, they marry other ethnicities, children born to these parents are some of the most beautiful I have seen. They have black hair and blue/green eyes or blond hair and dark eyes. I have heard my caucasian and my black friends jokingly wish that they can marry Asian men too for they seem to think that they do not easily divorce and seem to be more driven to succeed. I am not saying this is true, but that is the general perception. In Jon's case, he says he had no goals so we know that all Asian men are not exactly driven or geeks. I also don't like the impression given by Jon that all Asian men are chicken and allow their wives to verbally abuse them. My husband is a very patient man, but if I berate him in public, I will probably be looking at a divorce. Most Asians are raised to be respectful to their elders, their parents, cultures and thus when they marry are probably respectful. But I think Asian women especially those raised in America are certainly not door mats and will not put up with physical or verbal abuse. All in all this case is sad and not the best representation of a marriage, inter-racial or not, Asian culture or anything. I have seen inter-racial marriages where partners are respectful to each other. Most wives and husbands black, white, Asian, Latino in a healthy marriage do not treat their spouses like Kate treats Jon. And So, while Kate has her 5 little 'china dolls' in the girls and the extra 3 in the boys, the saddest part in all this is the 8 little kids whose lives will be impacted one way or the other. And that is a shame whatever the ethnicity of the parents are for all kids deserve loving homes and stable parents, whether these two stay married or not.

Why are people seriously coming out in support of Kate's statements? This is disgusting. The problem with saying that you have a "thing" for Asian guys is that you're not looking for a person because they're a person, you're just looking for somebody to embody a fantasy that you have. It's so dehumanizing. As in yes, they don't see you as human. So including "Asian guys" into groups of men who are exotified isn't a good thing at all.Also, "China dolls" is obviously expression of an Asian fetish. That's not even implicit. Are you kidding me? They're not freaking Chinese! No, wait, I forgot, all Asians are the same. And guess what. They're not DOLLS. They are HUMANS. Even more dehumanizing going on here. She doesn't even see her own children as people, they're just cute little accessories that her exotic fantasy provided for her.I feel completely disgusted when men single out my race as a reason for why they like me. Like seriously, disgusted and dirty.

Kate's case is pretty rare; I would venture that it's more common to see cases of media-influenced Asian fetish evident in White males, or White worship among Asian people.If you have an issue with Kate wanting kids with more Asian features, what about the commonly uttered statements from Asians who talk about how they want their kids to have more Caucasian features? There are tons of Asians who married White because they didn't like their Asian eyes or other Asian features.

If an Asian woman married a white man and wished her children had "blonde hair" like her husband (which is code word for 'I want my kids to look White'), for better or for worse, it'd be the same thing.For centuries, Asian (and African) countries have idealized white features. So here we have a white woman glorifying Asian features. What's the harm? Does she do it in a way that's oppressive to Asians at large? Does she have children who DO NOT possess Asian-features and she treats them like second-class children? Who exactly is the aggrieved party here? And what are his actual damages?

The harm is in treating people as objects or stereotypes or fantasies and not as real people. I'm not saying whether Kate does that or not (I don't watch the show, nor do I want to) but yes there's harm in a white woman having a fetish for an Asian man. Just because Asian men are not frequently viewed in a positive light in mainstream American media doesn't mean one white woman having a fetish for an Asian man on TV makes that better or acceptable. And why does her opinion count so much? Because she's white?

Anna, you'd have a lot more credibility if you had more a problem when Asians dated or married White because they idealized or wanted White features for themselves or their kids. To bring this up now, is pretty un-credible and hypocritical.

Anna May 19: ... uh ... so how do you know that anna May 17 DOESN'T have "a problem when Asians dated or married White because they idealized or wanted White features for themselves or their kids?"Seriously, you don't have ANY IDEA what her views on other topics are for one very specific reason: this comments thread is ONLY about the Gosselins and Asian fetishes.Please try to stay on point and not make absurd accusations. Bringing in other topics is an obvious ploy to derail this discussion. Telling folks who are critiquing something that if they don't critique another unrelated phenomenon then they're not worth listening to, is another obvious ploy to derail.I won't listen to these ploys and I'll start deleting derailing comments very soon.

To one of the Anna's above:No, having a fetish in and of itself is not a bad thing. Allowing the fetish to become your only view of your significant other (and hence objectify them) can be. You don't know what this woman thinks of her husband, only that she is attracted to his Asian features. That is not a bad thing. This knee jerk reactionism really has to stop!

Why are we calling Jon and his kids Asian? Jon has white blood too. He doesn't even look Asian. The kids have a white mother so it's possible they aren't Asian. Of course they have Asian backgrounds but do we know they are Asian. Does Jon identify Asian? Did he grow up Asian? Why is he and his children ASian by default?

Brian: I agree that having a fetish in and of itself is not a bad thing if it's not the only view, and not the primary view, of your significant other. I didn't claim to know how Kate feels; I say upfront that I don't even watch the show and so I don't feel I can comment on her particular situation. I am speaking in generalities about race-based fetishes. Admiring and feeling attracted to someone's racial features is one thing. Projecting ideas of what kind of person they are going to be based on those racial features is another thing, and not a positive situation. Do you not agree?I also think it's interesting that the men on this post are so quick to say that a white woman having an Asian fetish is not problematic in the bit, and in fact seem to welcome this. (And that doesn't mean I don't think Asian men shouldn't be viewed as sexy.) Perhaps you would feel differently if you were objected all day long like women are. Or maybe men just don't mind being objectified?Fake Anna: Wow, don't put words in my mouth. I find you pretty un-credible because you can't even stay on the topic of this post.

Meh, I go out with a beautiful/HOT blonde chick but for some reason when I think about what I want my kids to "be like", I want my kids to be full-Korean and speak Korean and have primary cultural background as KOREAN CULTURE!!!....UH OH !!!and for the haters out there, Yes I am a sexy Korean beast!!!PS My girlfriend is next to me right now reading through my silly comment... o_O;;;

anna: Of course Asian men would feel differently if we're women. But we're not women. We're men, and society treats us differently. Yes, I can understand your point of view that women get objectified as sex objects all the time, and the last thing they need is more objectification by the media. If all things are equal, it would be just as bad for Asian men to be so objectified. But things are not equal. While Asian women are hyper-sexualized as the ultimate bedroom fantasy, Asian men are portrayed as the exact opposite. They're constantly emasculated, desexualized, and marginalized to the point where there are Asian women who specifically do NOT want to have any relationship with us. And I'm not just talking about not finding Asian men attractive, these Asian women do not even give us a chance. Which is why some of us do not find being sexually objectified problematic because it's rare for us to be viewed as sexually desirable by someone with such publicity. I know it is stupid, and I won't be so naive as to call it progress. It just feels good, alright? When you get fed the same crap all your life, just getting a chance to taste something different can be a welcome change, even if that something is poisonous to you in the long run.

To Anna."Or maybe men just don't mind being objectified?".That's part of the reason. Like it or not, men and women are treated and view sexual relations differently. For example, both Asian women (yellow fever) and Black men (Jungle fever) are sexually objectified, but Asian women are far more vocal about not wanting to be sexually objectified in this manner.Another example is the student/teacher relationship scandals. The female teacher (especially if she's young and pretty) will almost always get off lighter than the male counterpart. Consider, a guy who has many sexual partners is considered a player and respected by his peers, while a woman who behave exact same way would often be referred as slut. This double standard exists, and is there regardless of the race.Then there is also the second reason. Is Asian male being sexually objectified just as harmful as the status quo in the long term? maybe, maybe not. No one knows. But many Asian men (heck, men of any race, and many of women for that matter given how many Asian women plays into the Asiaphiles stereotype) would rather be desired, even for the wrong reasons, then to be viewed as impotent/unattractive/unsuitable. It is simply human nature.So it is perfectly understandable where people are coming from, and frankly, with the currently status quo, Asian male being viewed as sexual desirable (even due to fetish) probably is the lesser evil.

Hadoken- I feel you. I understand what you're saying that it is different for men and women because women are seen in terms of their sexuality EVERY DAY, and that Asian men are always so negatively portrayed in the media, and that women of your own race won't even give you the time of day. Please just remember that as you said, it is poisonous to you in the long run.@ Brian- not really. (Re: African countries idealizing white feature.)

My boyfriend is 2nd generation Korean. I met him and liked him right away, but I've never had a "thing" for asians or any race, though I suppose I am more attracted to darker skinned, dark haired guys, but it certainly isn't a rule. In any case, Kate's comments show how little value she has for her kids as individuals, and more as commodities. People tell me (Korean people) that our babies will be so beautiful and we should have some- and it's so ridiculous to think that someone whould have a child with someone based only on the opinion it would be good looking.

There are a lot more white women who are into Asian men than most people realize.On facebook, I've seen so many groups devoted to the subject. One of the bigger ones I've seen have over 2000 members.And if you google it, you will find websites for that, too.One I've seen is called: http://www.womenforasianmen.comIt usually has a lively video chat at night, which you can view without registering. The participants are mostly from the younger crowd.I'm not an expert on white-Asian relationship. But it seems to me the white-woman-Asian-man relationship has a somewhat "healthier" motif than the Asian-woman-white-man one.In the Asian-woman-white-man relationship, the impression is that many of these white men are seen as less than desirable by their white women and therefore resort to minority Asian women, who often see having ANY white boyfriend as a status symbol. It's a match based on insecurity and deficiency.(On facebook I've seen a group that's "against Asian women dating ugly fat white men". The existence of this group probably shows how prevalent the negative stereotype of this Asian-woman-white-man pairing)The white-woman-Asian-man relationship, on the other hand, seems different if not better. The white women are often attractive (as in the case of Kate Gosselin, or check the facebook groups) and don't have any problem attracting white men. BUT, they choose to date Asian men. They do so not because they can't find any white guy, but because they genuinely find Asian men attractive.Asian guys don't seem to view having a white girlfriend as a status symbol, either. Or at least not at the extreme level that Asian women often do to their white partner that we have seen.In a party or in public in general, for example, I've seen some Asian women who try very hard to make sure everybody knows that she is the girlfriend of that tall white guy. (Even an Asian woman I know who has a Ph.D from an Ivy League school does this. It surprised me.)Asian men, however, don't seem to like to taunt their white girlfriend in public like a trophy. They are more relaxed and laid back. (Some Indian men, however, do like to show off their white girlfriends. I guess (East) Asian and Indian men are different.)Even when they are single and looking, Asian women are more readily to declare "I date only white guys." Or they would use a disguised, more politically correct code phrase "I date only tall guys over 6 feet." I'm sure we all have heard these a lot. But you don't hear the same thing from Asian men wanting to date whites exclusively.Another thing I've noticed is that it is a way more common now to see an Asian man with a white woman partner than only a few years ago. Asian women have been a subject of "desire" for a long time in the Western world. I guess it's the Asian men's turn now.

Like Jon, I am mixed as well. Like Jon (without the light eyes), I look predominantly Asian. However my son looks totally white - 100%. Most Asian folk think he's good looking and Caucasians think the same thing except when they have NOT seen me. Example, a white person will say nothing about my son - like his an ordinary kid. But when they have seen me, they say he is good looking.I finally figured it out, most Asians think he's good looking cos, he looks white - (after some prodding).And white folks who think he is good looking is likely because they see me and think wow. he doesn't look like his Mum - and he is gorgeous.Are both groups racist? Yes. And thats the way it is.So is Kate's comments offensive. I would dare say - it goes against the grain. And I toast - to each his own.

As a White woman I think Asian men are very sexually attractive. I do find men of other ethnicities attractive, but I tend to notice Asian men first, and am more likely to find them hot.I think it is becoming more common for Asian men to be with Non-Asian women. I see this combination on a regular basis in the city I live, even though we are often thought of as being a "red-necked" city.I don't think the video offers much of a basis for Kate having an Asian fetish. She is a pretty obnoxious woman overall, and doesn't have much tact, using the term "china dolls". But fetish?1. I would think someone with a fetish would ONLY be with some of that group.2.They would probably think this group had certain desirable (and to an extent magical) traits found only in this group.3.And they would have unreasonable expectations of what being with a member of this group would be like.I think she is sexually attracted to Asian men, and was receptive to being with an Asian man. The fact that he is attractive and would be be more likely to pass on good looks to his children does not make it a fetish.

We are biologically engineered to be attracted to those physically different from ourselves. It adds variety to the gene pool and thus allow more protection from disease for the offspring...DUH!Call it whatever you like.

Anonymous: arguments are taken more seriously when they're not made anonymously. And saying that we're "biologically engineered" implies that there was an engineer. Which also makes it hard for some of us to take you seriously. And a very very simplistic view of human sexual attraction like "we're engineered to be attracted to those physically different from ourselves" -- that doesn't take into account the simple fact that most people in the world mate with people exactly like them racially, culturally, and classwise -- is also something most people won't take seriously.

j, i'm sure that you, as a white woman who isn't disadvantaged by Asian fetishes, appreciate the fact that you don't get to tell us Asians what an Asian fetish is. Rather, it's for US to tell YOU what an Asian fetish is, since WE'RE the ones who are disadvantaged thereby.And guess what? You have a fetish. If you "tend to notice Asian men first," that means that you prefer a RACE. A sexual preference for a race is a racial fetish. You can argue, if you want to, and obviously you will want to, that a racial fetish isn't a problem. And maybe YOU wouldn't mind being approached by all sorts of men SIMPLY because you're white, or men noticing you first in a crowd of women SIMPLY because you're white. When your whole sexual being in the society in which you live starts to sound like that, then we'll talk.Until then, believe me, it's only the Asian men who truly believe that their race hinders them sexually (and they are very much in the minority) who are stupid enough to believe that it's good for Asian men that suddenly white women like you have a fetish.

I think this is a bit of an over-reaction, though the "china doll" comment really is lame, but that's just my opinion.I will tell you what to me is disturbing.I was talking to my roommate (who is haole). She'd grown up her whole life in Maryland. I said something to the effect of - it's hard enough to have twins I can't imagine having 8.Her response was "yeah, it must be even harder with the cultural difference too. Isn't he half asian?"Me: "Uh ... yeah, but he was born in America and grew up here?"I think its more revealing what attitudes people who watch the show may have that shows how Asian Americans - even mixed raced ones - are perceived to be fundamentally more foreign than other minorities and not accepted as "American"

as a Londoner of Mauritian ancestry, residing in Los Angeles i'm continually fascinated, and somewhat repulsed with these perpetual conversations concerning race over here. Are these conversations and preoccupation with race a fetish ?

"The white-woman-Asian-man relationship, on the other hand, seems different if not better. The white women are often attractive (as in the case of Kate Gosselin, or check the facebook groups) and don't have any problem attracting white men. BUT, they choose to date Asian men. They do so not because they can't find any white guy, but because they genuinely find Asian men attractive."And let me guess your one of those white women dating an asian?I don't really agree with you at all to be honest and this is from someone who is niether white or asian. I see white men asian women on a regular basis and see all types of couples hotties, weirdos, nerds etc. 2 months ago one of my good mates (he's a white fella) married this indonesian chick. He's a pretty good looking guy and she's a real stunner.Now of the few asian guy white women couples I have seen have a more regular pattern, the white women are usually slim in build but in terms of facial attractiveness plain to ugly (to be brutally honest). Not the kind of white girls, white guy or black fella's would go for. They also seem to be very socially awkward. This seems to fit as most white girls do not find asian guys physically attractive thus the ones that are with asians would be escapist types. My guess is they are not found attractive by white guys are usually put in a position where it is asian guy or nothing.Then try to justify their relationship by putting down others due to their insecurities and being ridiculed by others for their dating choice.Using Facebook as a source. Please, the majority of people on those white/asian groups are horny guys and a few loser girls who can't even pick up in real life.Look at yourself before you start putting down others.

what's it to you, eddy, getting your nose out of place about something that allegedly doesn't concern you? "Look at yourself before you start putting down others" is excellent advice you should be giving to white men (or taking it yourself, perhaps) who loooove to tell white women they're fat, ugly, and unattractive just because they weren't born as an asian girl. i think it's fair, for once, for white girls to tell it like it is, even if that means stepping on others' feet, because let's face it--most white men with asian women are NOT attractive. the people you've seen are exceptions and not rules, and i say this as one who's attracted to men and women and lives in japan. i have seen PLENTY of these couples, and in all the years i've been here, i've never seen a pairing where either were attractive. ever.anyway, good on kate for acknowledging the sexiness of asian men on national television. i hope this leads to more representation for am/wf couples.

ya she is offensive for wanting kids to look like "china dolls" but jon is also an idiot. he hates himself so much he's only attracted to blonde white women (people of color are obviously not good enough to date). but then again maybe that's good - considering he cheats on women.

Claire: Why so bitter?The race issue effects men AND women of the Asiatic pursuation. Haven't you been listening? While Asian men get fewer dates overall, the ones he gets are quality women. Because the women who are independent enough to look beyond race, if they so choose, are of a better stock overall, morally, and perhaps physically as well. While Asian women are pursued by men who are obviously stricken by a fetish. They have predisposed notions of hyper sexuality when dating Asian women. That is seedy. And it is a known and widely witnessed sight that Asian women are more than likely to be with a fat white guy who is at least twenty years older than her.And while these women claim liberation: they are usually walking a few feet behind their White men, and too timid to ever speak up about anything. They are usually quiet, and get up to follow him whereever he goes. Whenever I am out and about, there are a few waiting next to the Men's Room.

"We are biologically engineered"I thought we "evolved" or something...I have a liking for Native American men, but I can find men of any race attractive; it depends on the man. I don't think there's anything wrong with having a preference.As Alanis once sang, "These are 21 things that I want in a lover; Not necessarily needs but qualities that I prefer; I figure I can describe it since I have a choice in the matter"

Comment deleted because of name-calling. Folks, there is no name-calling on Hyphen comment threads. And you will get even less latitude with an anonymous comment. "Anonymous" posters need to be EXTRA polite and careful.

Asian-Americans are seen as a feminine race in general. This stereotype hurts Asian men so much while it helps Asian women.This topic always makes me emotional, because Asian men have it so tough and Asian women never understand at all what it is like for us.I like and respect Kate Gosselin a lot now that I know this about her.