More On Asian Sexual Fetishes: Laura Miller on 'The East, the West, and Sex'

June 17, 2009

Laura Miller of Salon.com isn't nearly critical enough of a book (that I haven't read) by Richard Bernstein called The East, the West, and Sex, a history of white guy/Asian chick fetishes and, according to Miller, a bit of an apologia for them as well.

As far as I can boil it down, Bernstein wishes to argue that the
history of liaisons between Eastern women and Western men should not be
condemned out of hand. In spite of the undeniable backdrop of injustice
and exploitation, some of these encounters have been a Good Thing,
offering to the men a reprieve from the repressive sexual morality of
the Christian West and to the women a chance at a less traditionally
patriarchal relationship than they might have had with many of their
countrymen. There may be manifest inequities between these couples, but
their trysts have sometimes blossomed into real affection, tenderness
and love.

Argh. Ew. Nix. But Miller goes on to, if rather gently, take apart what she perceives as the book's argument. Which is great and all, but she constantly falls short of condemning this position for what it is: racist and sexist.

The main problem, as I see it, is the veiled attitude throughout that is only revealed directly in this passage:

The subject is squirm-inducing, whether you are a Chinese man with a
humiliated heart or a Western woman feeling obscurely spurned or, for
that matter, even if you're a Western man enthralled, as Bernstein
himself seems to be, by the image of the quintessential Asian nymph,
with her "long silky hair, smooth nut-brown skin, and a perfume of
orange and spice on her breath" -- and feeling kinda defensive about
it.

Yeah, you saw it too, didn't you? "The subject is squirm-inducing, whether you're" an Asian man, a white woman, or a white man. But she didn't mention whether it's squirm-inducing if you're one of these much-desired Asian women. Is it because the subject isn't supposed to be squirm-inducing for us? (I'll admit, I'm not rendered so much squirmy as nauseated by the subject.) Or is it simply that no one thought about our perspective, either in the book or in the review?

But that's the heart of the fetish, the allure, the lust, isn't it? A whole group of "ultra feminine" babes whose perspective and desires -- for whatever reason: colonial oppression, poverty, submissiveness, etc. -- you are politically, economically, and morally empowered to ignore.

The second page of the article is even led into with: "What do Asian women get out of the relationship?" Sadly, the question remains unanswered as she dances around third-wave attitudes towards sex work, stories of Thai prostitutes taking advantage of their Western customers (does that really mean that Thai prostitutes are better at leveraging advantage, so we shouldn't be worried about them? Really?), and sound bites from Chinese women who are asked leading questions but not really allowed to simply speak for themselves.

Ugh, the whole thing still makes me sick, but I have to say, a display of such ignorance, critiqued by a critic who herself fails in perspective, just points up the fact that this conversation can't be over yet: there's still too much educating to do.

ETA: At last! An Asian American who's actually read the book! Sunny Singh posts a review of it on her blog. Check it out.

ETA: Folks, please note that the Laura Miller who wrote the review discussed above is not the same as Dr. Laura Miller, the anthropologist who wrote BEAUTY UP. Also, judy b in comments points to Slate.com's review of THE EAST, THE WEST:

This is, in the end, a darker and bleaker story than the one
Bernstein wants to tell. European and American men really did find
sexual liberation in the East. Some returned home and helped to
sexually liberate their own countries in ways we all benefit from
today. But the freedom came at the cost of exploiting an extreme form
of patriarchy in the countries they went to, and to imply that the
beaten-down, deeply deprived women wanted it is revolting.

See? It's not that hard to formulate into a sentence. On the other hand, the author, Johann Hari, also wrote this:

Bernstein's
story—and ours—ends with a strange irony. With the sole and ongoing
exception of Southeast Asia, in this sexual conflict East and West have
swapped sides—suddenly and definitively. "The very places where Western
men in the past sought pleasures and excitements are today amongst the
most sexually conservative places on the planet." Burton saw the Arab
Middle East as a font of sexual freedom; today, he would be beheaded
there for acting as he did.

In most of the East—in Africa, China, India, and the Middle East—this flip happened very fast. In the mid-19th
century, "most of the world still subscribed to the harem culture, and
in only the few small countries of the West, the small peninsular
domain of Christendom, did a different attitude prevail." By the end of
the century, it was the other way around.

How did this happen?
Frustratingly, Bernstein doesn't offer many convincing explanations,
but he does note that the colonial East attracted more missionaries
than Burtons in the end. In Somerset Maugham's novel Rain,
a missionary complains, "I think [it] was the most difficult part of my
work, to instill in the natives a sense of sin." But they did. They
succeeded. They soaked the East in a Western sense of sin, and saw it
freeze up into a new frigidity.

Seriously? He can't see anything to critique here? "The missionaries did it?" Seriously? What about communism? What about Islamic fundamentalism? What about the fact that most women's lives throughout this whole history were sexually conservative lives, controlled by fathers and husbands who couldn't afford more than one wife, but could afford to keep their daughters out of prostitution and concubinage?  What about how politically egalitarian movements of the late nineteenth and twentieth centuries opened up class mobility for many people, thus shoving many more families into the sexually conservative classes? How about the fact that all revolutionary movements have relied and still do rely on women activists, and promise much (and deliver some) freedoms for women under new regimes?

And how about ... and I can't believe no one thought to mention this ... fucking women's movements ferchrissake? It's not like the twentieth century globe wasn't riddled with them. And what characterizes the first ... uh ... wave of a women's movement; at least, as we know it here in the States? That's right: sexual conservatism. After all, women whose sexuality is being externally controlled, have first to prove that they can control their own sexuality. (And then have to prove it again, and again, and again ...)

Contributor: 

Comments

Comments

ironmonger,Please don't speak on behalf of Asian men. Your self-defeating nature is a reflection of your own self and not all of us.
Claire:You're young and thus inexperienced, but as an online editor you should be cognizant of at least the following: Trolls, sensing their impotence and insignificance, fear and hate most being ignored; and Bernstein, of course, is a Troll. Salon magazine has in the past published such incendiary and insubstantial chaff as your cited story; since Salon, itself an impotent and insignificant--and insolvent--medium, often demonstrates a weirdly homosexual concupiscence in assailing Chinese and Japanese and Koreans; note Salon to have described "Chinese man" as "humiliated" and also "Western woman [sic]" as "obscurely spurned [sic](writer either incorrectly uses "obscure" or "spurned"); Bernstein didn't use those words. Accepting the above, hopefully you, Claire, will not corroborate such chaff by not ignoring it.
Uh ... Taira, I'm neither particularly young, nor particularly inexperienced. Remember that whole ass + u + me thing?Salon is a perfectly respectable online magazine, if a Particularly White One.Bernstein is a print author. Trolls are an online-community-related phenomenon. Here's a definition: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Internet_trollI have no idea what you thought you meant with "a weirdly homosexual concupiscence" since the quotes you followed that up with have nothing to do with homosexuality. And when you said "concupiscence," did you mean "salaciousness?"The use of "[sic]" has to do with uncommon or incorrect grammar or spelling, not with your peculiar notions of what words mean."you, Claire, will not corroborate such chaff by not ignoring it" is confusing, because it's unclear whether "not ignoring it" refers to "corroborating" or "not corroborating." Think about it.I don't think you really know what "corroborate" means. Did you mean "validate" or "legitimize?"Seriously, is it really that hard to just say "Hey, dude, Salon.com is a piece of racist shit. Don't propagate their crapola by posting about it"? I guess Orwell was right: bad writing is easier than good.And finally, in response to what you were trying to say (paraphrased directly above): If you don't think that a hardcover nonfiction book, highlighted by a major publishing conglomerate during a recession, is worth posting about on a forum that is directly concerned with its contents ... well, then I just don't know where to begin with you.
Claire:Whence convenes such noxious venom in a gentle scribe? The word "troll" is a metaphor that has been used commonly only recently, so the word's scope is yet necessarily inchoate; the word's common use, though, is not; compare your own source's definition with my yours preceding mine: "In Internet slang, a troll is someone who posts controversial, inflammatory, irrelevant, or off-topic messages in an online community, such as an online discussion forum or chat room, with the primary intent of provoking other users into an emotional response[1] or to generally disrupt normal on-topic discussion.[2]" note "slang" indicating nonstandard usage and "inflammatory" and "irrelevent", and now my usage: "Salon magazine has in the past published such incendiary and insubstantial chaff...". Again my usage differs from your sources only in scope, and again "troll" is a new nonstandard usage with yet undefined scope. "Corroborate" and "validate" are used similarly with "corroborate" used nearer to "strengthen" and "validate" used nearer to "make more healthy"; but "legitimize" descends quite far away, since the matter here doesn't pertain to institutions or authority or statutes or laws. "Salacious" is similar to "concupiscence", but you've clearly never read Aquinas or Augustine, so you'll have to just concede that to me; some of insolvent Salon's "writers" are openly homosexual, and my reference was to motive and not to theme. Finally, a magazine that purports to support the interests of Japanese and Chinese and Koreans shouldn't give a forum to an odious and divisive troll who clearly seeks to injure all the above. Do you protest against gun laws by shooting yourself in the head? That a "major publishing house" would publish such noxious chaff actually demonstrates this publisher to be a racist medium. Don't give this troll a forum any more than that rabid Dershowitz would give Holocaust "deniers" a forum, else you are part of the problem.
Claire:Sorry to have exposed your defect in education. Your mixed race ancestry, though, explicates your weird and convoluted reasoning and also your intense self-hatred. Have a nice life trolling like Ernie Hsiung on the internet. I note also your "corporation" to have a Scots-Irish guy as director. The new "fashion": use abjected "asian-americans" like you and Hsiung to insult asians in a way now intolerable for those in the majority.
Claire, nice take.from Miller's article: [...and to the women a chance at a less traditionally patriarchal relationship than they might have had with many of their countrymen. ]One of the biggest problems I have is the misconception and false stereotype, perpetuated through decades of White Knight literature, that compared to Asian culture, Western and other cultures are not more sexist, oppressive, chauvinist, or unfair towards women. Needless to say, it pisses me off to no end.
lol! wow, taira! pedantic much?let me just caution you again against ass+u+ming anything about what i may or may not have read, how old and experienced i am and how (lol!) "gentle" i might otherwise be. (clearly YOU've never read my posts before!) i can pretty much guarantee you that most people on this forum have read aquinas or augustine, because most of us did liberal arts in college. can't vouch for how much anyone paid attention, tho'.and i'll just say again, before i sign off this rapidly aging argument: it's the job of this blog -- among other things -- to examine and critique big mainstream gaffes having to do with asians and how we are perceived in the us. not to put too crude a point on it but, if you don't wanna read it, then don't read it.
whoa, taira. i approved and responded to your previous comment before i read this one. this is NOT OKAY. i'm going to leave this comment up as an example to others of the kind of speech that is not welcome on this blog. this also clarifies your previous comments about "homosexuals," which are also NOT OKAY.and taira? unless it is to apologize, don't come back. you're one step away from being banned.
Wow, who is Taira Nosaka?Anyways, thanks for criticizing this book but let me add another take. As the child of a white man and Asian-American woman, these whole discussions sometimes make me squirmy. My dad is Jewish and an immigrant, my mom is American-born. My parents were brought together more by activism, shared wartime trauma, and my mom's aggressiveness than anyone's "orange and spice breath," haha. There are a million permutations of every meme, let's remember.Yes, fat white guys in Thailand lusting after Asian women (or any women for that matter) are disgusting. But its pretty stale for anyone to blame their sexual or relationship problems on stupid people like Bernstein.Make your own images, love yourself, if you think fetishes suck then don't have them, blah blah. Kinda like the abortion debate. That's my opinion. Cheers! =)
Ya, I caught this review yesterday and it's strange to me that a supposedly feminist dressing-down of this book is so misogynistic and racist.But how offensive is it that this book even exists? FAIL on everyone's part.
Eww, this whole thing is grossing me out. Let me also add that the Asia Society is sponsoring this book's upcoming SF event.
Hi again Claire, I do want to say something more substantial than "eww." Re: that second excerpt above, yes, that maybe bugged me most of all about the Salon article, that our opinion on the subject isn't heard or considered.I suppose I should appreciate that Miller acknowledges economics over desire, but it's also very disturbing that the kind of cruelty and violence done to Eastern women by Western men is downplayed, and that assumption is forwarded: that Western men are more kind to Eastern women because Western women have demanded so much change. But what about this: that Western men are particularly cruel and violent to Eastern women precisely because they resent how Western women have apparently demanded so much change.James Baldwin wrote, "Love between unequals is always perverse." I'll end there.
thanks for stating it so clearly and beautifully, barb. you're right: "ew" doesn't quite do it.
Here's the info about the Asia Society sponsored event. And let me say that somehow, I am not really surprised that they're supporting this book...Meet the AuthorRichard Bernstein, The East, the West, and Sex:A History of Erotic EncountersTuesday, June 23, 2009BernsteinThe New York Times/International Herald Tribune writer Richard Bernstein offers a rich narrative of the erotic pull the East has always had for the West, and provides a provocative exploration of the connection between sex and power.Bernstein defines the East widely - northern Africa, the Middle East, Asia, the Pacific Islands - and frames it as a place where sexual pleasure was not commonly associated with sin, as it was in the West, and where a different sexual culture offered the Western men who came as traders and conquerers thrilling - and morally ambiguous - opportunities that were mostly unavailable at home. Bernstein traces this history through a chronology of some of Europe's greatest literary personalities and explorers: Marco Polo, writing on the harem of Kublai Khan; Gustave Flaubert, describing his dalliances with Egyptian prostitutes (and the diseases he picked up along the way); and Richard Francis Burton, adventurer, lothario, anthropologist-and translator of The Arabian Nights.Richard Bernstein is a columnist for the International Herald Tribune and a contributor to The New York Times. He has served as a foreign correspondent in Asia and Europe for Time and The Times, and is the author of six previous books, including Fragile Glory: A Portrait of France and the French, a New York Times Best Book of the Year, and Out of the Blue: The Story of September 11, 2001, from Jihad to Ground Zero, named by The Boston Globe as one of the seven best books of 2002.For reservations, call 415-393-0100 or email rsvp [at] milibrary.orgEvent InfoTuesday, June 23, 20096:00-7:30 pm ProgramMechanics' Institute Library57 Post St.San FranciscoFree for Asia Society/Mechanics Institute Members$12 General Public
Aww, I'm "abjected!" That's sweet. "Tiara," I welcome you to become a poster on 8Asians, so long as you use your REAL NAME and your REAL PHOTOGRAPH, with proof as also sending me your Facebook profile. You'd be the first "troll" to do that, after all, because every single person who has sent me or the other 8Asians.com any type of personal attack for not having the same points of view seems to suddenly shy away when I offer them to write under their real identity.Gee, I wonder why.
oh, was s/he talking about you, ernie? i guess i'm slow right now ... along with being underedumacated.
Don't forget our "homosexual concupiscence."
I just have to address "Taira Nosaka" because his posts on this subject are really supercilious, vainglorious and most of all annoying (I can go to thesaurus.com too). When you decorate your posts with complicated words it's mostly to hide the fact that you aren't saying too much (or insulting somebody). In fact this isn't a new idea either, see "Oswald Bates" in the TV Show "In Living Color".At any rate I found Claire's post interesting, one book that I won't be buying.
Don't forget our "homosexual concupiscence."
yeah, i'll have one of those, too.
anyone wanna write with me to asia society asking them to pull this event? wtf is up with people who are happy to celebrate being colonized?
Thanks for posting this. This is one of those books that I probably would have passed by and dismissed as typical exotic, now erotic-East BS literature, but after reading Miller's account of the book, I'm noticing that the majority of power-relations that Bernstein uses to characterize East-West relations are ones grew out of colonial, and post-war era; hence the extensive examples involving of prostitutes and western military officers. Most of these are neither valid today, and to make any characterization of Asia, based on the encounters of prostitutes is insulting.That said, there is a vigorous discussion to be had, and I actually like Miller's perspective (whatever her background may be). If anything, this book, and her review of it expose a changing world, where:"most women, Eastern or Western, would really rather not be locked into relationships designed primarily to cater to the other person's needs. Show them an out, and they will take it."Sure, it might challenge traditionalist minded Asian men keen on continuing the ways of the past, but come now... to whine about white privilege, and further insult Asian women is only going to accelerate their struggle.(btw: I don't know who "Taira Nosaka" is but I cant really stand by her attitude...)
caroline: sounds good, but i'd caution anyone against protesting the book formally until they've read it themselves. (i haven't read it, by the way, and probably won't.)i tend to trust laura miller's synopses of books but there's an outside chance that she misread the book and i wouldn't want to take on an event like that without making sure. ya know?
Allow me to take a contrary view here:I read the review by Miller though didn't find it nearly as deficient as Claire and others did. I thought she did a pretty good job of reviewing the book on the merits of its basic arguments (or lack thereof). I can't really comment on Bernstein's book since I haven't read it. I would not assume it was racist or sexist in a prima facie way though, based on the excerpts that Miller includes, it doesn't sound very intellectualyl rigorous, despite Miller's repeated note that "he's no fool." If that were truly the case, Miller should have picked smarter excerpts since everything she quoted from Bernstein had to write made him seem naive beyond the pale.As for the problems with Miller's argument, I didn't catch the "squirm-inducing" gaffe the first time but I agree - the fact that Miller excluded Asian women from being induced to squirm is an extraordinary omission. One wonders why Salon's editors didn't gently nudge her to explain that - it's so obvious a point to include.But I disagree that Miller doesn't answer the question she poses about "what do Asian women get out of it". The answer is, as she puts it, "So there was never really a historical moment in which Bernstein's proposed trade-off actually worked. " In other words, the answer the question is that Asian women don't get anything out of the exchange that's equivalent to the "freedom" Western men perceived.That's just my take on it - I don't think Miller came up that short here. Would it be the review I might have written? No. But I hardly found Miller's approach to be worthy of being deemed "ignorant" let alone "misogynistic and racist" (sorry Giles, just my read!)Barbara: In response to your point...I think it would have helped if Miller made greater mention of, say, patterns of sex trafficking involving vulnerable populations of women in Asia and their importation into the West. Certainly, it would do much to blow some holes in Bernstein's romanticism. However, are you implying that cruelty and violence are endemic parts of contemporary relationships involving Western men and Eastern women?
If I may also add: I don't think one should try to get the Asia Society to rescind the event. What is gained through censorship here?It would make more sense to 1) read the book and thus be prepared to point out its shortcomings and 2) show up at the reading and give Bernsetein hell for it. Frankly, I would imagine the crowd for his SF event will not all be there for book signings!
oliver, i appreciate your viewpoint both on miller's article and the asia society's event. with regard to the article, i think perhaps miller's AMOUNT of fail is open to interpretation. but i do think her perspective fails somewhat, if not so egregiously as bernstein's.with regard to the event: ideally, an organization like the asia society wouldn't be validating the viewpoint in this book by inviting the author to speak. (i know that sounds perilously close to what taira was saying to me above, but i didn't invite bernstein to guest blog here, which is what hyphen blog's version of the asia society event would be.) i wouldn't want to censor a discussion at the asia society about the book or the topic. but i would really only want to see the asia society invite bernstein if his book had become a best seller; and then only if he were invited as part of a panel that included a health dose of asian and asian american feminists.this event doesn't present itself as a fair and balanced discussion of an incendiary topic. rather the opposite: it (weakly) draws on the salacious interest bernstein's book exercises on readers to try to pull in an audience. the event itself certifies bernstein's respectability and seriousness, and the asia society shouldn't be doing that.
I just read miller's review, and yours, and though I have not read the book, it seems undeniable that it is pathological fantasy; it is sick, romanticizing the dehumanization of all involved (especially asians, women and men). Let's leave aside the racism and sexism (for the purpose of this comment, not the dialogue), and talk about the dehumanization. you point to one of the lead quotes:"There may be manifest inequities between these couples, but their trysts have sometimes blossomed into real affection, tenderness and love."what? an interracial relationship, may, in the end, actually develop into, but certainly not start as, an interaction between two human beings? we are to assume a class and race relation first, an interpersonal one second, and only if both fantasy and finance can be dismissed.it seems to me this books does an unbelievable amount of disservice to its topic and to its author (who Miller insists is quite bright, though on the basis of his premises, I must object to that characterization) by discussing it as it appears in western literature- the wild-eyed fantasies of a sexually deprived (depraved?) white male who sees himself not as the exploiter, but rather, as the liberator and redemptor of of the poor, enshackled asian woman, only to deliver her again to be the deliverer of his wishes. and isn't it better to serve a white man than an asian one? even writing that last sentence sarcastically makes me want to puke.further, i find it disturbing to the point of unrest to assume an equivalency between the relationship of a white john and thai prostitute is somehow the same as the relationship between my girlfriend and me (full disclosure: i'm irish american, my girlfriend is chinese american), and to write so matter of factly that complex human interactions can be summed up and mirrored by exploitative exchanges makes me sick. From the the writing I have read about the book, it does not make a distinction between exploitation and colonialism and a modern relationship (particularly between two americans).again,I haven't read the book, but it seems well beneath the asia society to be propping up such a piece of garbage.
Dang... a troll trying to argue with you over the definition of the word "troll"? That's so meta!That line from the original review really rubbed me the wrong way, and I'm really glad someone pointed it out. I don't have much to add that others haven't already said, but it never fails to amaze me how the supposed subject of this conversation, the Asian woman, is left out of the dialogue again and again and again.
HI again all, in response to Oliver's question: "...are you implying that cruelty and violence are endemic parts of contemporary relationships involving Western men and Eastern women?"I am not. I am referring to the contemporary interactions between Eastern women and Western men borne of sex trafficking, prostitution, and mail order bride transactions, in which the Eastern women are the purchased items.The above to me is not the same thing as a romantic or social relationship, which I am assuming you mean in your question.
In response to XanderS"I'm noticing that the majority of power-relations that Bernstein uses to characterize East-West relations are ones grew out of colonial, and post-war era; hence the extensive examples involving of prostitutes and western military officers. Most of these are neither valid today, and to make any characterization of Asia, based on the encounters of prostitutes is insulting."We only need to look at the Philippines, and the very recent cases, one well publicized one involving the gang rape of "Nicole," (not a prostitute) by US military men in the Philippines due to the Visiting Forces Agreement between the Phil. and the USA. So please don't forget that there is still US military presence in Asia, and that 9/11 counter-terrorism served to solidify this presence. As well, it was not so long ago that Subic Bay's American military presence enabled a prostitution industry to thrive. You are right in pointing out that prostitute/military dynamic is insulting, but the fact is that prostitution is still very much a thriving industry in many places in Asia, whether it's military men or Western tourists - and I see a LOT of these crawling around the Philippines, bringing these young women (and young men) to posh resorts, etc.
Taira's latest comment deleted because it was not an apology. No, Taira, you don't get to come back as if nothing happened after making racist and homophobic statements. One more chance for you, then you're banned.
Oh, this makes me so disappointed in Laura Miller. I'm currently reading her book Beauty Up! about Japan's beauty industry and beauty aesthetics, which contains a much more thoughtful analysis of the "East vs West" meme than the one she throws out in the review.In addition to the "What about the Asian women?" question, I'd also ask, "Well, what about the White men?" If he is so well-versed in the history, why doesn't Bernstein think, beyond his own personal stake in the matter, that the backdrop of Orientalism is a problem - or at least one that can't be explained, justified, or hidden behind really telling and terrible myths about Western men's comparative liberalism and goodness? Why does Miller spend so much time simply describing, and much less time critiquing, the erotic fantasies of Western colonialists? I know what I am in the Western imagination! I don't need another reminder, thanks.Ugh. Bernstein's book sounds like the Japan Times op eds, only infinitely worse for its chapter form and supposed intellectual and academic bent.
Sexuality is one more arena where broader (and unjust) power relationships play out in the USA.That's true not only in the past but in the present.Western colonialism is thus not a thing of the past, as some people would assert. That is absurd. One only has to look at America's brutal colonial occupation of places like Iraq and Afghanistan to see that reality.We live in the era of American Neo-colonialism, where the American military is one of the primary causes of sex trafficking and exploitation the world over--from Asia to the Middle East to the Balkans.Only people living in the White Mainstream unreality that is the USA fail to see this.Gender and U.S. Bases in Asia-Pacifichttp://www.fpif.org/pdf/reports/0803pacificgender.pdfEven within the USA, interracial sexual relationships--while not overly colonial in nature--are also impacted by power relationships. Namely, White supremacy.In America, White standards of beauty and attractiveness sady prevail. Many minorities ascribe to these perverse standards.To say that "love is colorblind" is laughably disingenous at best, and is an alibi usually promoted by people who would rather sweep under the rug uncomfortable issues of White power and racism in "post-racial" America.As a famous book by Cornel West put it, race matters.
hsiu: it took me quite a few clicks to confirm this, but the laura miller who wrote BEAUTY UP! is not the same laura miller who wrote the article. the first is an anthropology professor at loyola chicago, the second is the lit editor and co-founder of salon.com.
Lyx,first of all, i do not deny that US military bases abroad have a disgraceful and arrogant record of dealing with the communities in which they are placed. I do not deny that our SOFAs are unjust and encourage and excuse horrific behavior. Nor do I deny that these problems are especially bad in the Pacific, where race is indeed a critical factor in the mindset that is responsible for these abuses.I'm not saying race doesn't matter. I teach racial politics in the US and abroad. but I think it is a very long way to go to say that the war in Iraq is somehow evidence of an inescapable archetype of interracial relationships in the US.No, i do not believe we live in a post-racial America. Yes, I do firmly believe that race matters. However, you make precisely the mistake that Bernstein does when you essentialize and dehumanize people into embodiments of race acting out a predetermined script (be it form the left or the right), rather than individuals with the privilege of self-determination that is common (though I would not argue universal) in the US.To say that because I am in an interracial relationship I am somehow complicit in a colonialist and white supremecist power dynamic is both insulting and sad, and it robs me and my partner of the of our free will to make choices about who and how we date. It is not to colonialize or due to white supremacy that I asked a beautiful woman to dinner, she accepted, and in the years since we have grown to love each other, have become each others' best friends, and gotten to know and love each others' families and friends. She is free to leave me at any time, and I to leave her. please don't tell me that I, society, or US foreign policy are somehow coercing us to be together, or that pernicious and malevolent white supremacy is the only thing that justifies our relationship. it is dehumanizing to both of us. Further, to argue that race is the only thing thing that matters (and for that matter, your particular interpretation of race in America) is to deny and refuse to recognize progress. As I said above, I laugh at people who claim america is post-racial. but to say that progress in race relations hasn't been made in the past 50 years is just preserving an agenda in the face of a mountain of evidence.My comment was to say that a relationship based on mutual respect, love, and in the context of economic equality is not comparable to one that is inherently exploitative. It's just not. and if you believe that all relationships between european americans and asian americans are inherently exploitative, then there is no hope arguing with you.
David,I don't speak for Lyx, but I didn't see anywhere in her/his comment that "malevolent white supremacy is the ONLY thing that justifies (y)our relationship." What I saw was someone pointing out that racial dynamics complicate every interracial relationship, no matter how loving and mutually respectful that relationship is.I am the product of an interracial, white man/Asian woman relationship, a marriage that just celebrated its 45th anniversary. I hold up my parents' marriage as a model of a loving, respectful relationship that, while not perfect, has found ways of dealing with the poisonous political and social atmosphere it often found itself in.I love both my parents, and yet can say, without quibble, that racial and colonial dynamics have had an effect on my family in general and my parents' relationship in particular. It is not by denying that racial dynamics will affect even *their* relationship that my parents have avoided the biggest pitfalls, but rather by acknowledging this and examining their relationship in various ways over the years.And it is by *connecting* (and not *disconnecting*) my parents' relationship with the history of unequal colonial and racial dynamics -- that have affected both their families for generations -- that I am able to understand some of our familial dynamics, and start to make peace with the fact that I have to live in this unequal world.I know it's difficult to hear Asian women criticizing white men for their fetishes, without connecting that criticism to your own situation. But no one here knows you; no one is talking about *you*. And if you're absolutely sure that this description doesn't fit you, then maybe this discussion needn't involve you -- not that I'm telling you to shut up, but rather to *listen* from the safety of your not being the subject of this conversation.Because some of us *do* have to live in this poisonous atmosphere. Some of us *do* have to deal with racist fetishes and being objectified: blatantly in public, and sometime subtly in our own relationships. And this forum, this post, is a place for us to talk about it. If you're not a part of this dynamic, perhaps all you're doing here is getting in the way of people who *are* a part of this dynamic talking about it.
Claire: Thanks for clearing that up!
Claire,All points taken. I took too personally the comment:"To say that 'love is colorblind' is laughably disingenous at best, and is an alibi usually promoted by people who would rather sweep under the rug uncomfortable issues of White power and racism in "post-racial" America."My point, in criticizing both Bernstein and Lyx, is that essentializing is wrong and demeaning to all involved.I'll leave it at that.
Claire: Glad to hear another Asian woman's voice on this one. The book is nausea - or in my case, wrath - inducing. A friend sent me your link. Just reviewed the book at mine as well:http://sunnysinghonline.blogspot.com/2009/06/east-west-and-sex-same-schpiel.htmlAnd for the record, I was utterly shocked that Miller abetted Bernstein's erasure of Asian women from not only his text but also from the general discourse about the topic.Best wishes.
thanks, sunny! good post!
@ David Tully:Your defensive comments, as the saying goes, protest too much.Bringing up uncomfortable issues of White racial power and its effects on things like interracial relationships ain't essentialist. If you believe it is, then I doubt you understand what this concept even means.In fact, your "anti-essentialist" argument exemplifies how this idea is often manipulated by some Ivory Tower "progressives" to attack any questioning of dominance and power dynamics that they would rather sweep under the rug.Regarding the topic here, White Supremacy is manifest in multiple ways from the more naked and brutal reality of American military sexual exploitation to the more subtle forms that one experiences in things like interracial relationships.These racial power relations are ALWAYS PRESENT and influence people's lives from choices in spousal partners; beauty standards; socio-economic status; or job opportunities like ... who gets hired to "teach racial politics" at a school and what race they just so happen to be.Pretending that one's own personal life is free from these things may help people to rationalize away a guilty conscience, but that's all it is good for.And your complaints about the supposed "demeaning" of (your) interracial relationship appear to be just a pretext for downplaying these issues of White Supremacy and power that, for some strange reason, many Euro-Americans want to glibly whitewash away.
"I asked a beautiful woman to dinner, she accepted, and in the years since we have grown to love each other, have become each others' best friends, and gotten to know and love each others' families and friends."That's what usually happens for a white man. Let me enlighten you on how it is for an asian man.Starting from childhood, he is exposed to a number of emasculating stereotypes from a culture that labels him as inferior. His self-confidence is utterly destroyed and he spends the first twenty years of his life alone deprived of love or affection. Finally, he works up the courage to ask a girl out only to be rejected with a familiar line, "Sorry, I don't like asian guys."Of course, he is curious as to why he is failing while so many white men are succeeding. Any questions he asks regarding this disparity is answered with the following typical responses:1. It's because you lack self-confidence.2. Stop whining about white privilege.3. It's not our fault that asian women naturally choose us over you. Afterall, they have free will.So what is this asian man up to now? Currently, he is writing a comment at 4:30 in the morning because the other comments he has just read really pissed him off. This is problematic because he has finals for his community college classes in the morning and the only reason he has to go to community college is because he was kicked out of UC Berkeley and sent to a mental institute after becoming suicidal while living in a predominantly white dorm building which reminded him of the horrible racist inequalities he has to suffer through that go unacknowledged. And it happened right after Virginia Tech, too.
Johann Hari offers a damning review of the book in Slate today:http://www.slate.com/id/2221479/
I am the Laura Miller who wrote the book Beauty Up (Thanks to those who read it! \\(^@^)//.) There is a different Laura Miller who wrote this review. We are not the same person. I am a professor of anthropology, the Salon Laura Miller is a journalist. Please don't attribute her ideas or comments to me.