- Firs' Hmong Amercan senator has nothing better to talk about than Gran Torino. No, wait, cause movies important. No, I mean poop culture important. Heh, I wrote "poop!'
- Dude, Bill Clinton is a fuckin hero. A fuckin hero. No, no I don't care. He's a fuckin hero, dude. No, no, I know. I just wanted to say that. Jus' wanted to say that.
- Omigod that makes me hungry just thinking about it. Let's all eat what Laura Ling is eating tonight okay? I just need watercress and ... like ... a chicken. And some water. And a big pot. Do you have a chicken and a big pot? No? No, a whole chicken wit da skin on. A whole chicken. No? Okay, let's order out then. No, no it's okay, we can get potstickers. Get me some potstickers. No, it's cool, I like that they've turned this media cirrus into a human interest story 'bout watercress soup. It's like, when th heavens weep or some shit. I don't know what that means. Wow, look! I worte a whole paragarph!
- God, this is so sad, it makes me want to cryyyyyy ... *sniff* no dude, I'm okay. 'm'okay. ... Takasugi ... Takasugi, the first JA judge in LA! He died! It's so saaaaaad ... R.I.P. Judge, peace out dude.
- God, those Chinees, you can't trust 'em ... What? No this Chinese American dude tried to smuggel some rilly small cameras out or someshit and they could be used by the military so they put 'im in jail. Which is why Chinesee shouldn't become citzitens. No, I'm chinese. I'm not that chinees. I'm different. I'm like ... Top Ramen chines and this dude is like Big Trouble in Little China chinsee. With fangs. Heh!
- Dude! Blagojevich is reachin out from the political grave like a zombie er someshit 'n' killin Indians! There are now three Indian Amerkins who have gone down for being, like, his peeps. Okay okay. They'rrr pretty slimy. But there aughta bea law. ... *BURP*
- Holy ... dude, kin I get a amen? Brother was drivin with blood alcohol of 2.6 percent. No? Okay, maybe it was .26. Thing is, he's, like, the presidet of Orange County or someshit. 'N' got caught.
Hee! Dude was still standin! Or drivin' Holy ... awesum! Awesomes! He
crashed his Benz into a power ... thingy ... and knocked the power out
of, like a thousand houses! All his consitch- constits- consituents ...
hey, what do you think my blode acolhol lel ... bud alkohol lever,
alcohol leveler ... what do you think I have right now?
- Wow. Wichita won't let a memorial for South Vientamese fiends of Amercan soldiers go up in a veteran's park. Oh, nevermind. It's not racist. It's NOT. It's 'cause the park is for American servicmen oNLY. K? I mean it's not about them dicsrimnatoring- discrmanate- dicscrimani- being racist against vientamese or someshit. It's NOT ABOUT THE VIENTAMESE AT ALL, K? IT'S ABOUT THE VIENTAM WAR, WHICH IS ABOUT AMERICASN, K? God. Yer so shrieky.
- Cooooo ... Th Chron has, like, a walking tour of SF J-town. Let's go! No, right now! Let's go! Oh, right. Well, can't we go quickly and come back before the food arrives? Okay, let's eat first and then go! Didja get me potstickers? I don't care if we ordered Japanese. The Japanese have potstickers! 'S they do. They're just not called potstickers. Dude, seriously? You didn't order me potstickers? You suck.
- Duuuude. This is so messed up! This Korean chick was adopted by a Chinese family
and never knew it! Then she went 'n' married a Korean and Chinese dude
but his Chinese family only spoke Spanish. Korean and Chinese! Hee!
Tha's a lotta dogeating! *hic*
- Dude, I think I'm sobering up. Where's the Maker's Mark?
- US Tresaury Apartment is no longer freezing Ranian American bank accounts when they're in Iran. Except when they are. Freezing them, I mean. I mean sometimes they are still freezing them, like when they live over there. But when they don't live over there but are, like, being held prisoner over there then their accounts are not be forzen. Which is toatally fair. Yay Obama!
- Which means that this Ranian Mercan dude who was just arrested in Ran won't have his accounts forzen. Right? Right? I mean the goverment protested or someshit. ...
- Like, she must of been smokin' something, right? This chick. This Vientamese amercan chick shows up in Singapore with fake passports for her and this kid and the kid gets taken away and she goes to jail. Weird. God, this is all so weird. I must be sobering up. It's so weird. The world is weird and there's no accounting for it.
- I mean, like, Ahn "Joseph" Cao is voting against 'Bama's health reform to save his soul, and Zhang Ziyi is starring in a comedy, and Korean American grocers in Seattle are opposing a save-the-world bag fee that wouldn't hurt them much. Dude, now I'm completely sober. I never wanted this to happen.
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