Are You A Bitter Asian Man?

July 13, 2005

Hello. Very busy. Going out of town for work. But thought I'd leave you with these fine links:

It was only a matter of time before there would be a site like this: Bitter Asian Men Why are they so bitter? Cause white girls AND asian girls won't date them. Probably doesn't help when Jackie Chan says white guys should marry Chinese women in order to spread Chinese culture. Huh? Wow, that is whack.
Bitter Asian Men, I want you to know there are Asian women out there who date Asian men. I don't know what's up with Asian women who won't date Asian men. Hey, it's their loss. More Asian men for me!

Here's a cover story on Tom Shimura (you may know him as rapper Lyrics Born) in the East Bay Express.

And Asian kids, stop emailing Andrew Lam to ask him to help with your homework about his short stories. Lam ruminates on the cultural reasons they're writing in. An excerpt: "I find it curious that many Asian American entrants, even those with a perfect command of English, don't use the first- person narrative. The word "I" doesn't appear on the page, leaving writers to struggle with the awkward "one," even when addressing issues within their own families."

Contributor: 

Melissa Hung

Founding Editor

Melissa Hung is the founding editor of Hyphen. She was the editor in chief for the magazine's first five years and went on to serve in many other leadership roles on the staff and board for more than a decade. She is a writer and freelance journalist. Her essays and reported stories have appeared in NPR, Vogue, Pacific Standard, Longreads, and Catapult, among others. A native Texan, she lives in California. Find her on Twitter and Instagram.

Comments

Comments

True, that rejection was the trigger for my part in this little crusade...but I'm over it in the sense that I no longer *go* for girls anyway.
Hey man. There is no need to give up on girls’ altogether because one “white” girl refused you. Perhaps she had someone else in mind – you should not jump to the conclusion she refused you purely based on you being an Asian. Especially not at Sydney Grammar High, she would be used to associating and mingling with Asians – I know that I am. If you have a girl in mind (even if she is white) ask her to your year 12 formal. Don’t let one rejection haunt you for the rest of your life.By the way - how did you find the link?
I didn't give up on girls because of that one rejection...its due to our social hierarchy and because im an overly cynical, lazy bastard (esp when it comes to love and all that crap):P Not to mention a lot of myfriends having the same problem.And she goes to SCEGGS(Grammar is all boys) an almost all white school...and I know she said no because she doesn't find asian boys attractive.The link was a good read thanks...as usual with this topic though...more questions than answers.
whoops - I thought my girlfriend said she came from Sydney Grammar - my bad!Alright - you will probably feel this way now - but who knows what lies ahead for you. Whatever it is, I am positive it would be better than how it is now.Cheers buddiePS Go study!!
for all u chinese american guys, just come to uk. girls will love u here. or go any where in europe. i have seen in london alone chinese guys going out with white girls. so i think its a matter of where u grow up.
Your girlfriend lol?Nah I've got an easy way out of this situation...I'll start trying for girls when I move to China, after uni.:PAnd yeah I can't make myself study anymore. Areas of thinking/Journeys is terrible.
my advice to chinese guys is start becoming bad. but chinese type is not a bad thing cuz they it helps to get a job if u are chinese as they are sterotyped as being good. if u see da stats chinese ppl outearn black, latinos. and even of da amount of education they get.but if u see da history, black man were considered ugly just 30 years ago. its all trends and how da media covers u. i wont be surprised if in 30 years girls start going out with chinese guys. newways its not like no ones getting a girl.i was chatting to this black guy and i told him why do u date white girls rather than black, da black guy does white girls are easier to impress. black girls just dnt get impressed to easily.and true what this person in one of da above tread stated, whenever u see a white guy with a chinese girl, the white guy seems to be weird.patterns are always changing, just look at the patterns 20 years ago.
Nah - I probably wasn't listening properly: I have my earphone surgerically attached to my earsYeah in China they will LOVE you - an Australian Asian with a great education. Though it is a shame that you have to search overseas for a potential girlfriendGoodluck with ur studies
if u see da stats chinese ppl outearn black, latinos.but if u see da history, black man were considered ugly just 30 years ago. its all trends and how da media covers u. i wont be surprised if in 10 years white girls only start going out with chinese guys. newways its not like no ones getting a girl.i was chatting to this black guy and i told him why do u date white girls rather than black, da black guy does white girls are easier to impress. black girls just dnt get impressed to easily.another thing i noticed when a coloured man goes out with a white girl he goes out with only attractive ones, not any fat and ugly ones. but when a white man goes out with a chinese girl shes normal looking.and true what this person in one of da above tread stated, whenever u see a white guy with a chinese girl, the white guy seems to be weird.patterns are always changing, just look at the patterns 20 years ago.
hahah yeah. I already have a social group in china and in hong kong. I get along much better with the girls there.Probably cos there's no barrier or insecurity between us.
When ever I hear a non-black girl say she like blacks dudes its not because of his looks, but the macho attitude, athletic build and such. dont be confused 2/3rds of blacks are in the middle class. Im with you on that. Most Asian girls date the white men the white girls didnt want.
Hey MUTI know I am going to regret this later BUT I know that I am the sole person responsible for causing distractions on this blog so add me to msn instead:warning_totallyaddictive7 [at] hotmail.com
anonymous, is your use of some sort of 'pidgeon english' intentionally designed to convey some kind of 'vibe' or image or ???
Dam James, you went crazy on your post. Which one are you refering to qustioner?
to all asians:don't let people use you (especially the whites). asian culture will always be dominated by whites. that's why we're the only group of people who are targeted, and not others. i really, really, really h8 that enormously. we're not special people. in fact, no one is. you also can't change your race. you are who you are.
Heya RELAX:One problem - I have NO idea where to start my reseaching, there is so much information. Have a suggestion?Cheers
"use da stats" how much additional time can it actually take to write 'the' vs. 'da'? etc. etc.
comment deleted for utterly, inexcusably racist content (seriously folks, don't do it.)
"Just because a Person wants to be succesful doesnt men he wants to be White."Whoa, hold up. I never said that i wanted to be white. That's the last thing i want to be! No offence to the whitefolks out there. I simply stated that i compare myself to them. In North America, many of the high profile positions are dominated by whites. All i'm saying is that i want the same things too; the wealth, the status and respect.And when i am in that position, i will do all that i can to ensure that we, as asians become the hegemonic group. That's all. As simple as that.To Aussie Girl:I am bitter. I'm bitter that North American society is dominated by a preponderance of white males. And that is why I am so adamant to change this.
comment deleted for utterly, inexcusably racist content (seriously folks, don't do it.)
Ugh. keep your misogyny to yourself.
AUSSIE GIRL:I send you some good books
Thanks a lot - I take it you meant via my email. Thanks you again for the generousity.
Be Happy.
Wow, I didn't realize so many people were interested in the romantic lives of Asian men. I suppose I find it rather intriguing and also a bit silly.As an American-born Chinese guy in my 30s, I should say that I don't recall ever having been bitter about dating; so I don't paricularly relate to the perspective of the Bitter Asian Men website. Over the years I've dated women of almost every ethnicity -- black, white, East Asian, South Asian, Arab, Latina -- without giving the matter as much thought as has been poured into this thread. If I'm interested in a woman and she's interested in me, great. If not, great. I see no reason to resent women who aren't interested in me, whatever their reasons.As I see it, the reasons a woman might not be interested in a paricular Asian man are probably the same reasons she's not interested in a man of any other background: he's just not a turn-on for her, it's just not a match, maybe he has bad style, or talks and acts like a dork, or simply doesn't project confidence or strength or sensitivity.Indeed, the entire Bitter Asian Men perspective strikes me as a turn-off, a self-indulgent self-pitying excuse for not being in control of your own life and not having the guts to do something about it. It's a whiny disempowering self-fulfilling prophecy.On the other hand, I do recognize that racial stereotypes exist and affect the way people perceive one another. The ridiculous stereotype of the emasculated Asian male probably doesn't help adolescent guys trying to learn how to approach women. But who said life was fair? We all have uphill battles to fight in a world characterized by white male supremacy.My unsolicited and probably unwelcome advice to bitter Asian men: don't whine, don't blame women for not being attracted to you, don't feel sorry for yourself; have some guts, have some authentic style, empower yourself. In the words of the great funkster George Clinton, Free your mind and your ass will follow.Peace,Kai
Come on! Some white girls dream of dating Jackie Chan or Jet Li or heroes in Dragon Ball Z.I'm an Asian guy and I never date Asian girls coz they are not hot. My girlfriend's German and she doesn't care at all if I'm Asian or not. I dun understand why all Asian guys act like a bunch of women and try to kiss up to girlz to like them that doesn't work. Women are more into the big bad dangerous and mysterious type.
Teenagers, Goths, Emos, feeling repressed and an out-cast from Western Society? Well......TRY BEING AN ASIAN MAN!And Nonconformity? right... I can't remember the last time saw a twenty something kid with a tattoo of an Asian letter on his wrist. You are one wicked free thinker! You want to be a rebel; stop being cool. Wear a pocket protector like he does, and get a hair cut. Like the Asian kids that don't leave the library for a twenty hours stretch. They're the ones that don't care what you think.
comment deleted for utterly, inexcusably racist content (seriously folks, don't do it.)
I'm an asian man, and personally I feel white girls do not like asian men because they are racist and don't find asian men attractive. I wouldn't waste my time with a white girl, other than maybe white midget girls or white blind girl. HA, HA , HA...
I'm asian..I don't see myself with any other race.That's the way it is meant to be...Asian women rules!!!
you know who i don't like? you, aznivr69.it's one thing to praise asian women. another to degrade other kinds of women.
Im half Asian, but for some reason, I just do not go for Caucasion Women. I would date any woman given we enjoy eah other. I guess everyone has there own preference. I was always labelled different by my friends. To each his own. Can anyone in here give me the 5 most beautiful woman on their list? Aussie Girl, Ill be leaving for Brisbane in a few days, How are you?
Nice House quote!Hugh Laurie rules.and yeah asians are so shafted.I'm joking. Don't stab me.
I am asian and I like big black mamas and hefty mexican (not latin, just mexican) women. It is a fetish that has gotten my ass beat by their parents as I pull a peeping tom at their dwellings.What is not to like? They are ethnic as ethnic gets with an urban flavor. The tan, the meat, the dark nails... yummyAsian girls got nuthin' on them. The only way I would trade up an urban honey is if there were 5 asian chicks that is willing to party in my bed at the same time... not even four! I am going to go beat myself off now. Thank you for listening
[Several posts from Mickey B and Dickey C deleted for being inappropriate -- and oh, from the same person. - WebEditor]
I really have to say it like it is here: Mickey B is a strange man.So..how are everyone elses asian problems going:P?

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