They told me/don't you ever come around here/Don't wanna hear the news/you better disappear.

The fire's in their eyes/and their words aren't really clear ... but I'm gonna tell you anyway, so there:

• The Guardian gets it right: it's time for the FBI to stop spying on Muslim Americans. Too bad it's the Brits and not our own journalists saying this. Beat it. Just beat it.

• Two Oregon high-schoolers, one a 16-year-old Indian American, have developed speech recognition software that detects emotions. They were inspired by the movie I, Robot. Because they're bad, they're bad, you know it.

• Southwest Airlines has become the official airline of the Japanese American Citizens League. Shamon!

• IndiAm Astronomer leads a team that just discovered a diamond-studded planet. The planets are lining up. We're bringing brighter days.

• Historians in Texas are trying to preserve the remains of WWII Japanese American internment camps. Mamasay mamasah ma mah goo sah.

• The New York Times has declared Siddhartha Mukherjee's first book The Emperor of All Maladies: A Biography of Cancer one of its 10 best books of the year. Ow!

• The Pentagon's chief military recruiter likes the Dream Act, because it gets fresh immigrant blood to swell the military's ranks. Where did you come from, Baby? And ooo won't you take me there, right away, won't you, baby?

• The US military is renaming the Persian Gulf "The Arabian Gulf," with, of course, no intention of offending anyone. They just want to love you, PYT.

• A Fil Am priest was arrested in an adult video store in Texas for diddling himself in pubic -- uh, public. When questioned, he said he was starting with the man in the mirror.

• Lennon-murderer Mark David Chapman's JA wife stands by her man, even while spending her life making reparation for his wrongs. She and he must make a pact, they must bring salvation back.
  

• Fil Am hospital staff in Los Angeles are suing, claiming that the English-only policies at the hospital are being unfairly enforced on them. Hospital spokespeople said it doesn't matter if you're black or white.

• Two L.A. Koreatown banks are merging, to form the largest Korean American bank, and to terrorize y'alls neighborhood.

• A failed OC Viet Am bank is suing over a scam. People shoulda told 'em: be careful what you do, don't go around breaking Viet Ams' hearts.

• RIP No-no boy and Fair Play Committee member Frank Emi. Why, why? Tell 'em that it's human nature.

And now, watch the inimitable Dr. K jammin' on this week's theme song: